Page 7 of Single Daddy Scot
‘Imagine the rabid fans and nutters she’d have at her door,’ he continues. ‘She’d need full-time security. Besides, why drag yourself out of bed every day to work when you have the means to bide at home? Especially when you’ve a little one to look after.’
‘What, like you, you mean?’
‘It’s not the same.’
‘Why because only womenfolk are interested in raising kiddies?’ I bait.
‘My situation is different. I don’t have a Nat to look aftermycompany interests, or the support of someone by my side. With work, I’d be skint.’
‘Down to your last million? Oh, no,’ I add flatly. ‘Whatever would you do.’
‘Baw bag,’ he retorts.
‘Now, let’s not start throwing names about just because you can’t see yourself watching the same princess cartoon for four years straight.’
Kids. I can’t see myself having them. I just don’t get the attraction. I mean, I love little Alisdair, Ivy’s son, but there’s no gettin’ away from the fact that he’s hard fucking work.
‘That’s very insightful for someone with no kids.’
‘Last time I was at the castle—’
‘Thecastle? And you’re takin’ the piss out of my lifestyle!’
‘It’s Ivy’s castle, fuck face.’ And shite if that doesn’t sound weird. Ivy’s salon, Ivy’s flat, even. But Ivy’s castle? Or rather Ivy’s Scottish pad, Claish Castle. I suppose owning a castle is normal when you marry into movie stardom. ‘Anyway,’ I continue, in a somewhat warning tone, ‘last time I spent time with my nephew, Ivy had thisGenius Babything playing the whole time. She said it was to teach him how to communicate with sign language while his verbal skills were developing.’
‘Mind numbing watching?’
I nod. ‘Multilingual singsongs, characters in leotards and leg warmers, annoying and inane music. And little Alisdair didn’t exactly need sign language when he chucked a paddy, a fucking great tantrum, in the kitchen that weekend. It was abundantly fucking clear he wanted a biscuit and not the piece of celery he was being offered.’ I chuckle with the recollection. ‘When I pointed out as much to Ivy, she seemed to think it didn’t matter if he was signing or speaking in sophisticated sentences because she said she doesn’t negotiate wi’ terrorists.’
Keir laughs heartily. ‘That sounds about right.’
Kids. I think I’m right about them, too.
