Page 10 of Dissection of a Murder
“What?” I ask.
“I was just thinking about your first day with me as a pupil. Within a few hours, I knew you’d be something special.”
“Oh, stop it.”
“I did. I know talent when I see it. You were different from the other pupils we’d had previously. You had something electric about you.”
“That was impostor syndrome, Julian.”
“You know what I mean. Everyone else we had in before you was generic. The same indistinguishable, privileged minds, but with different faces. Then you burst through the doors. You had grit about you. Even then, you were fearless.”
“Well, that’s what growing up in poverty around drug dealers does for you.”
“I mean it,” he says. “You’re different from the others. It’s your strength.”
It’s not often Julian gets sentimental. He reaches his arm out toward me; I lean in and cuddle up against his warm body. I feel his hand slip into my hair.
“It’ll be OK, you know. This trial. It won’t come between us,” he says softly. “I know you’re worried about it. I understand.”
“I am. You’re the first person I’d want to ask if I had a question, but now you’re the one person I can’t talk to.”
“You can talk to me about anything, Leila. You know that. I hope you’ll continue to learn from me until the day I hang up my wig. That’s how the relationship works.”
“Exactly. How am I supposed to go up against you in court?”
“Do your best. Remember everything I taught you.”
He bends his head down to mine and kisses me. He’s trying to calm my nerves, but I feel as if I’m standing at the bottom of Mount Everest.
“What’s he like?” Julian asks, against the sound of the fire crackling. Sparks fly and I watch as they dance about against the night sky. I’ve always been mesmerized by fire.
“Who?”
“Millman. What’s he like? He obviously asked for you to represent him for a reason.”
“Besides my looks, you mean?”
His mouth curls up into a smile as he, too, gazes into the flames.
“We can’t talk about the case,” I say.
“We’re not talking about the case. I’m just asking you what he’s like as a person. Since you’ve represented him before.”
“Yes, but that was years ago.” I feel immediately defensive, and my body stiffens. “Sorry, Julian. I just don’t think we should be talking about this.”
“Do you seriously think I’d ever say or do anything that would compromise you professionally?”
“Of course not.”
“This is how big cases work. Do you think silks dance around each other saying, ‘Well, I simply can’t discuss this’? Of course we don’t. It’s give and take. We can talk about elements of the case, just not confidential information.”
“I don’t know, Julian. It feels a bit, you know…”
“Leila, this happens all the time. It’s better for clients. Everything would take ten times longer otherwise. Especially with us being under the same roof—it’ll be much easier. We can help each other out. There’s nothing illegal about it. Trust me, I’ve been doing this a long time.”
He says this softly, convincingly, as if he really is trying to guide me through this. I’ve never done a murder before, but I have seen silks having intense “chats” in the robing room. Even at this early stage, I know I’ll need all the help I can get with this case. It’s looking grim already, and I haven’t even had sight of forensic evidence yet.
But, as Julian’s pupil, I’m also aware of the games he’s capable of playing. I’ve seen them firsthand. He taught me most of them. Thisis different, though. I may be Julian’s wife, but I am his pupil first and foremost. He would not screw over his own pupil.
