Page 76 of Unfiltered
“That doesn’t sound like a ringing endorsement.”
“No. No! That’s not how I meant it. I’m so happy to be here.”
“But?”
“No buts about being here. I wouldn’t change that for anything. The but is more about what happens next. Blythe and Madeline are after me to keep doing my videos…”
“And that’s where the but comes. You don’t want to?”
“I guess I don’t. It’s stressful coming up with something different to do each time. I find I can’t always enjoy a book anymore.”
“You’re gonna have to explain that.”
“I get hung up on how I’m going to dance to it. I’ll read two pages and then realize I have no idea what I read.” Abby met Ricki’s gaze. “Reading has been my favorite thing to do since I was a kid, and I’m afraid the stupid videos will ruin it for me.”
“Stop doing them.”
Abby stared and didn’t respond.
“I’m serious. Why keep doing it if you don’t want to?” Ricki said.
“Why do you stay at your job?”
Ricki grabbed her side. “Ouch. That hurts.” She smiled. “Seriously, I get your point. I suppose it’s fear and not knowing what happens next if I quit.”
Abby nodded. “That sums up my reasoning pretty well, too. How do you think Blythe would take it if I stopped?”
Ricki pursed her lips and glanced at the ceiling, in what Abby recognized as her reflective expression.
“If you kept shooting videos with her, she’d be okay with it.” Ricki put her hand on the table. “Not happy about it. But okay.”
“Why does she do it?” Abby said without thinking.
“You’ll have to ask her that.” Ricki took a long pull from her beer.
“Sorry. I shouldn’t have put you on the spot. I rescind the question.”
“It’s not that.” Ricki looked toward the ceiling again. “I’ve wondered the same, and she’s never given me an answer that makes sense. I suppose we’re all different. Some people need more attention than others.” Ricki picked at the label on her bottle before she met Abby’s gaze. “I’m not saying anything I haven’t said to her. It just takes a little more to fill Blythe up. When she gets some attention, it’s not enough. She wants more.”
“That’s typical of a lot of creators, isn’t it?”
“Some.”
“Winnie warned me of that. I don’t think she’s trying to fill herself up with her videos. She just loves entertaining people. And I see Blythe does, too.”
“Oh, definitely. She’s a showman. At one point, I had a theory, but her mom nixed it.”
When Ricki didn’t continue, Abby asked, “Can you share it with me? I understand if you can’t.”
Ricki waved her hand. “Blythe wouldn’t care. Hell, she made a few videos about my theory. That’s the thing. Privacy is a little different in Blythe’s world.”
Abby nodded. She’d experienced it and was still trying to get used to it.
“Blythe is the middle child of seven,” Ricki said. “The exact middle. Number four. So I thought she had middle-child syndrome on steroids. Not having the privileges of the older kids nor the spoiling of the younger. I figured it was how she got attention in a crowded field.”
“You said Blythe’s mom changed your mind?”
“Yeah, I shared my theory with her. She’d told me Blythe came out of the womb seeking attention. Blythe’s mom almost gave birth in the car before getting to the hospital. Blythe was raring to meet the world. While her brother, number five, was twoweeks late. And in Blythe’s mom’s words, he was trying to climb back inside while she pushed him out.”
