Page 110 of The Girl with a Thousand Faces
In short, though, it’s a lot of work. All of it building carefully, relentlessly, toward that perfect single moment. And you’re not fully you, after everything you’ve endured; you still flinch at loud bangs, still huddle in barrels when not in a skin.The world perpetually feels too big, too shocking, after such long years of war and confinement. Still, you manage.
As the date draws near and your plans reach completion, you at last offer up the demolition consultation to Cobra Lily, the self-declared triad queen of her little rotten empire. She takes the bait, as you expected.
Also as expected, she brings along her vaunted second-in-command, Mercy Chan.
An entourage of assistants and security guards flank behind and around you as you approach Cobra Lily. An altogether unimpressive woman of middle age, whose real name is Wong Jing Yi. You’ve seen her birth records, are privy to facts about her history.
Still, you keep your gaze fixed on Cobra Lily’s severe features, unwilling and unready to look at Mercy Chan just yet. Already, the triad queen is balking at your rebukes, your subtle humiliations.
“We are not thugs.” Mercy steps forward mid-conversation, defiant and saucy. You can no longer ignore her. “The Snakeskins manage crime when your police force does not dare enter Kowloon. We run schools. We look after the elderly. We protect women. Even the girls who work in opium dens. Yes, there are drugs, but you have that, too, out here! As for the ghosts, we have long managed their infestation, without government support. The Walled City is our home, and you do not have the right to destroy it, when you have done nothing to help it!”
“Well-spoken.” You turn toward her, composure tightly gathered. “And who are…”
The words die away as your eyes lock with hers. A torrent of emotions freezes you to the spot and you’re aware of your mouth open, eyes widened despite your best efforts. How desperately you planned for this moment, intending to stare at her coolly—and yet you can’t help being thunderstruck.
Your face.Your own face, looking back at you with eyes that should be yours. Time has knocked your body around the edges, added a little weight to the middle, flicked gray streaks through the hair. But it is you.
The experience is far more intense than the first time, when you merely saw Mei Chi from a distance.
“This is Mercy Chan,” Cobra Lily says. “A trusted aide, and best of my exorcists. It is with her work that we successfully contain the ghost problem in Kowloon.”
“I see.” Your nostrils flare. “Who gave you that scar?”
Stupid to ask. Stupid, stupid, stupid. But you can’t help it; you want to hearwhat she has to say, even knowing that she can’t possibly remember her past anymore, because she was in your skin far,fartoo long.
“Huh? Nobody gave it to me.”
“Nonsense,” you retort. Her coy pedantry is grating. “That’s not a birthmark, it’s a scar. How did you get it?”
“Not that it is any of your business, Miss Tsang,” Mercy says, “but I have had this scar for as long as I can remember. A doctor told me it is probably from a lightning strike.”
Itismy business, you want to scream.It is literally and entirely my business, you murderous thief!
“What is this rude questioning?” Cobra Lily says. “We are here to—”
“I know why you are here, and I want to be sure your exorcist is a reliable person,” you snap. To Mercy, you say, “What do you mean,as long as I can remember?”
Hasn’t she wondered, all these years? What kind of self-centered, unaware person doesn’t question the huge gap in their memory? The body she inhabits was fully grown when she took it, she mustknowher childhood is missing.
But your murderer merely says, “I don’t remember my life before 1942. I arrived in Kowloon in the middle of the war, without family or memories.” She adds, “That’s a little before your time, Miss Tsang, unless you are much older than you look.”
You need to get control of yourself, before this conversation spirals off. Remember the plan. Stick to it.
Aloud, you say reluctantly, “A little, yes. I was born in 1945.”
“Then why does it matter? Am I offensive to look at?”
“No. But your face, and that scar, are extremely familiar to me. I could have sworn…” One more time. Give her one more chance to consider. “Are you sure, completely sure, we have not met before?”
“Never that I remember,” Mercy says. “In another life, maybe.”
“In… another life.” A raw pain squeezes your heart.
She truly, really doesn’t remember you in any capacity. Though you knew that intellectually, having it laid out so categorically still burns.
Oddly, the feeling works like an antidote against the raging chaos inside your head. Smile, rally yourself, and straighten up.
“My mistake. You are quite right, I am too young to remember the war years.” Turn your gray-suited form back toward Cobra Lily. “Please accept my apologies for my confusion, Ms. Wong. As I was saying… your whole entourage cannotcome into the building. Perhaps I can suggest a compromise? You are welcome to come to my office, where we can speak in private.”
