Page 133 of Dead Silence
“Yeah.”
An awkward silence follows, and my fingers fidget nervously with the metal scroll hanging around my neck on a delicate chain. The scroll is warm from my skin. It’s not Lourdes’s necklace, but a similar one. Her mother pressed it into my hand as I was leaving after delivering Lourdes’s share of the fee. It wasn’t enough, not the money, not the words I had for them, to tell them how sorry I was.
But Lourdes’s mother insisted I take the necklace, that Lourdes would have wanted me to have it. I hope that’s true.
I don’t know what the scripture inside says. I kind of like not knowing, walking around with it, a blessing from Lourdes beating close to my heart. It could just as easily be a curse, for what I did to her, but I’m somehow sure it’s not. And that seems as much guidance as anything for a path forward.
Come on, TL,Lourdes would say to me now, if she were here.Just ask him.
I shake my head at myself, and in denial.Not yet.
“So you probably want to see the engine room,” I say quickly, starting toward the corridor again. “Hey, did I tell you that I finally met Voller’s mother? When I took her his share. She’s this tall, gorgeous—”
“Claire,” Kane says.
“—redhead.” I stop and slowly turn to face him. My heart is beating way too hard, a thrashing animal in my chest.
“Why are you showing me around a ship that I’ve already seen?” Kane asks gently. “That I inspected before you even put in an offer?”
“I…” I hesitate.
He folds his arms and leans back against the edge of the communications console, waiting patiently. He knows. I know he knows. But he’s going to make me say it, going to make meask.
Part of me, furious at being cornered, wants to just walk away. Yeah, that’ll show him. But more of me is relieved to have the help, the nudge I still need in the right direction when it comes to being vulnerable.
“Are you trying to hire me?” he prompts.
“No! I know you have that offer from Zenit,” I say. I’d had a similar one from them, Verux’s largest competitor. But that would have been the same shit, different company. No thanks.
“Are you trying to seduce me?” He’s teasing, but his expression flickers with heat at the idea.
I glare at him. “No,” I grit out.
Kane raises his hands in surrender. “Just asking.”
I roll my eyes.
“What do you want, Claire?” he asks.
It’s direct, with just enough pressure behind it that I feel compelled to answer.
“I want you to be a partner with me. In LSC.” The words tumble out, sounding brazen and loud and un-take-back-able. “You don’t have to, obviously. And you wouldn’t have to contribute a half stake. I’m staying majority owner.” Because no one is taking this away from me. “It’s just short runs from here to the colonies. A couple of weeks tops, so you wouldn’t be away from Isabelle very long. And we certainly have enough publicity to get us started.”
“You want me to work for you,” he says slowly with something that sounds like disappointment.
Frustrated, I rake my hand through my hair. “I’m not your TL. I’m not your anything.”
Kane straightens up, alarmed, his arms dropping to his sides. “Claire, that’s not—”
“I just want you to be with me. Us to be together. Whatever that looks like.” I lift my chin defiantly, though my face feels like it’s on fire. “If you don’t want to work for LSC, fine. But I—”
“Yes.”
I stop, mouth open mid-word. “Yes?”
“Yes.” He smiles, eyes crinkling at the edges. “Though I was sortof expecting this conversation two months ago when you had me come look at the ship,” he points out, moving to stand next to me.
“Yeah, well. You could have said something,” I mutter.
