Page 93 of The No Try Zone
“I know,” I answer hoarsely, my hands sliding down his back.
“Fuck.Fuck!”
I unfurl, the orgasm coming from deep within me as I yell his name, my hands flying to his back, nails scraping down him.
He groans and bites my shoulder, losing his own rhythm as he comes with me. “Samantha.”
We cling to each other, breathing heavy. He lets himself relax onto me and I hold him there, unwilling to let him go.
“Colin.” There’s so much more I want to say. So much more that I feel. And it seems like he’s there, too.
When he lifts himself up and looks at me, I see it. Even if he doesn’t say it, I know it’s there. Just like last time.
He kisses me, slow and tender, as his fingers brush the hair away from my face. I squeeze my inner walls around him and he groans, angling his hips and pushing into me again. We stay like that, softly thrusting and kissing, until my lips tingle.
Eventually, we take turns in the bathroom cleaning up. When he comes back into the bedroom, I pat the mattress, hoping he’ll climb back in.
He does, pulling me to him and kissing the top of my head as I curl around him, my head on his chest and my leg hooked on top of his.
He came. He loves me. I love him. The words almost come out, but I keep them tucked in.
You deserve to be loved out loud.
I look up, searching for his eyes. He angles his head down and I smile. “Colin.”
He smiles back. “Sunshine.”
The smile tells me enough.
Chapter33
Colin
THE WORDS ALMOST came.I love you.The way she’d been today at work, so confident and in charge – not that she hadn’t been before. But there was something in how she’d commanded an entire team of rugby players and brought them into submission, guiding them through an hour of what was almost certainly considered torture on their part. The way she’d not taken an ounce of shit from any of them.
It’d reminded me of the Sam in Las Vegas. The Sam who dressed me down at the picnic and again in my office. Fiery. Stubborn.
Beautiful.
So I’d asked her to come over. And she countered with saying I could come here instead. I understood the test. Because it was absolutely a test.
So I came. And seeing her when she opened the door, seeing the surprise that flashed across her face, the disbelief followed by joy? I felt like a goddamn superhero.
The way she looked at me just now, as we made love, it nearly undid me. And now, as she smiles up at me, everything in her open and trusting, I nearly say it.
I love you.
Loving her is terrifying. It’s jumping out of a plane with no parachute. It’s swimming with sharks. It’s fifteen coin flips that all land on heads.
But I can’t. Because it turns out that when push comes to shove, I’m a coward. All the evidence is right there: I ran in Vegas, and I’m running here. I don’t deserve her. A woman like Sam deserves a man who stands up and tells the whole world he’s in love with her. Not a scared man like me. Loving her feels like a promise I can’t keep. I’ll inevitably break her heart, and I can’t do that to her.
I hold her until she falls asleep. When her breaths even out, I slip out of bed and leave her all over again.
Chapter34
Sam
HE’S GONE WHEN I wake up. I look at my left hand, half expecting to find an engagement ring on it as though it’s Vegas all over again. Nothing’s there, of course.
