Page 74 of Fiery Little Thing
“Why was he here? Was he telling the truth? Did you call him over just to fuck him?”
With each word, my heart sinks lower and lower until it feels like I don’t have one anymore.
I’ve seen this man pissed off before, but never like this. There’s no opening for reason in the way he looks at me. He’s made his mind up.
I’m a whore just like my mother, and I’m picking his brother just like everyone else. He believes both those things to be true, even when he saw how I was being treated by his brother.
I contacted Kiervanfor him.I put my ass on the line and risked my grandfather’s wrath on the off chance that Kohen might have more freedom. And this is how he reacts?
Something switches inside me, and I can’t find it in me to hang on to the hurt. If Kohen thinks so little of me, then fuck him. I’m not going to stand here and get shit on by the Osmans. If he listens towhat I have to say, good for him. If he doesn’t, then good riddance. I amreallyfucking sick of everyone throwing me around.
I had a taste of blood, and I want more. With every ounce of adrenaline coursing through my veins, I shove him off me. His hands loosen from my shirt, and I slip out from under him. He’s taken so off guard he blinks, and there’s almost a moment of clarity in his eyes before it vanishes again.
I widen my stance despite my ankle’s protest. “Pushing women around seems to be an Osman trait.”
“Fuck you,” he bites.
I rear back like I’ve been hit.
Throwing his head back, Kohen laughs humorlessly as he looks up at the cloudless sky. “I was soblind.” His stare cuts down to me, coated in disbelief and laced with hatred. It’s the type of look that makes me want to recede into a shell and wish the world would disappear by the time I reopen my eyes, because this? It hurts.
“Everyone said you were a mess, and I’d screw myself over by trusting you. I’ve met one—maybe two people who tolerate you, and both of them wouldn’t give a shit if you ended up dead. Then, after everything I told you—” Shaking his head, Kohen drags his hand through his hair. “I thought you were over wanting him. I thought—it doesn’t matter what I thought. Because there you were with my brother.My brother.”
My lips part. He isnotseriously trying to slut shame me right now. “You goddamn delusional fucking dumbass,” I yell. “What part ofanyof that looked consensual? The part where he tossed me around or when I decked him? Wait, let me guess, kneeing him in the balls was the giveaway, wasn’t it?”
“Maybe he was too rough for your tastes, and it was too late foryou to back out.” He sounds more like he’s trying to convince himself.
This is why it’s better to be lost at the bottom of a bottle or safe in my tower. No one can touch me there, even once I lay my heart out it’ll still be safe because I’ll forget it exists.
“You think I’m in my head all the time? Look at you! You think I want that man when he threatened to torture me?” Screw it. I’m not going to try to convince him anymore. “I called him over to tell him to leave you the fuck alone. You can call me a liar all you want; the truth is that I was trying to help you by getting him off your back.”
He pauses, staring at me with his hazel eyes as if I just spoke another language. Kohen is so still, I could be convinced the world has frozen. But finally he says, “I don’t need your help.”
“So you’re above my help, huh?” I scoff, face heating. I thought he fucking understood me. God, I hate being wrong. “You can help me, but as soon as I do something for you, it’s suddenly not good enough, right?” Tears prick my eyes, but I blink them away before he can see.
His eyes widen a fraction as he steps forward. “No, that’s not what I meant. Help yourself first.”
Rocking back on my heels as he reaches for me, I say, “You’re right. I will. Like you said, no one else will. You’re obviously so full of shit with your claims about supporting me.”
Kohen’s lips part. “Blaze—” His voice cracks on the single syllable.
“No, I’m talking, Kohen.” I hold my hand up then yank my arm out of his hold. “Helping someone means having their back even when people try to pit you against them.Caringabout someone means believing them when they say they got hurt.” I raise my chin to look down my nose at him, praying to whatever god that’s listening that no tears will fall. “So truly, from the bottom of my heart, fuck you for being like everyone else. I’m sorry for trying to help. This isthe last time I’ll ever do anything for you.”
Dejection spears through his face, and I feel its sharp sting down to my core; it’s cold and unrelenting in the misery it brings. His plea is evident in his eyes alone, but I never thought that hurting him might end up hurting me.
“Wait, no, Blaze—fuck.” With each step forward, I step back. “Stay. Please stay.”
Irritation runs down my spine. “You think I’m daft for not seeing everything you did for me. Well, right back at you.”
He halts, holding his arms out in surrender even though tension lines his silhouette. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I was wrong, but you shouldn’t have contacted my brother.”
“How many times are you going to apologize before it loses meaning?” I squeeze my eyes shut and take a deep breath. “Look, I was wrong to use your brother against you before, but I’m over that shit. Knowing everything Kiervan has done, and what you continue to do for him, I still put myself on the linefor you.Your life is shit, but it doesn’t have to be.”
“What about you, Blaze?” Exasperation bleeds into his voice. “When are you going to start taking responsibility for your life?”
I gawk at him. “I didn’t choose this life! I became a villain just for being conceived by the wrong people.”
“And you stayed the villain because, at the end of the day, chaos is the only time you get to spread your wings and pretend you’re in control.”
