Page 142 of Sparktopia
By the time I arrive back at the couturier’s boutique, I feel like yesterday never happened. Of course, I know it still did. I know that this day isn’t going to fix anything, it’s just going to make it all worse once it’s over.
But I don’t care.
Because when the ladies’ maids finish dressing me and I look in the mirror… well, I’m absolutely certain that even if this night with Finn ends in disaster, it will be worth it.
It is…almosthow the couturier described it to me before I left. It is off-the-shoulder, but she has made sheer armlets, giving it a more refined look.
There is a dropped-v waistline, but it comes with a faux corset that hugs my curves and has the most beautiful gold hooks running down my front. I almost can’t stop looking at them.
The back is open, like she promised, but the dress comes with a stole made of so much silk, I could wrap it around my whole body, twice, hiding every bit of skin, should I choose to do so.
And true to her word, none of it is blue. It’s champagne and the lightest of pinks. Just the feeling of these luxurious fabrics draped across my body sends a tingle all the way down to my toes.
This dress is beyond my imagination, let alone my skill. It’s so much more than I ever expected. Especially with just one dayto pull it together. I look at the couturier and bow my head as I dip into a curtsey. “Thank you. I am undeserving.”
She comes over and taps my shoulder, making me straighten up. And when I look her in the eyes, she says, “I think you might be the prettiest girl I’ve ever dressed. Everyone calls you a slut. Do you know that?”
My face goes red hot.
“Dear, do not be embarrassed. Do you know why they call you these names? It’s because your beauty is a threat. To women. To men. To entire power structures. Whatever it is you do in your private time, Jasina Bell, has nothing to do with the names they will call you. So I made the dress a little bit slutty, because all men like that. But I only did it because your body can pull it off. You like it too, right? It’s still elegant, don’t you think?”
I let out a breath, nodding. “I’ve never seen anything so beautiful in my life.”
She gently places her hand on my cheek and smiles. “Neither have I.”
I leave there a little bit confused by this last comment. Did she mean she’s never made a prettier dress in her entire career?
Surely not. I’ve seen the dresses the Spark Maidens wear. They’re all gorgeous.
But then… then she must’ve meant… she’s never seen a prettiergirl.
I have never thought of myself as ugly. I have eyes. But… I don’t see myself as something that threatens power structures.
She must’ve just been being polite.
It doesn’t matter though. Because I am filled with the feeling that tonight is something meant for me, and only me. And even if everyone in that dorm hates me when I go home tonight, I won’t care.
If I must stand alone, I will do it with grace.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
At five minutes to sevenI’m dressed and pacing the front room, waiting for Mitch to deliver Jasina Bell. I’m not nervous. I would not call it nervous. But… the fact is, I haven’t had a first date with a woman since Clara and I were fourteen years old and she asked me to be her escort to the Pledge Gala in her second year.
And it occurs to me now that we even talked about that night just before she went into the tower. It was her favorite memory with me.
But is this night with Jasina a date?
Or is it just a dinner with a down-city girl who won a Choosing contest?
I can’t decide.
It could be something more. If there was any sort of future in my future.
But at the very least, I’m gonna be seeing her for the next three months. I know this for sure, because I’m the one in charge of Choosing and I’m gonna make sure Jasina Bell makes it through every one of them.
If this place lasts that long, that is.
Because I don’t know what it means for the god to be dying. The only thing I took away from the Council meeting that day my father died was… hopelessness.
