Page 53 of The Moon Blessed King
‘I understand the principle of it,’ his husband replies. ‘I’ve never tried it.’ Cat traces one hand along Elician’s arm, enjoying the subtle shivers that spawn at his touch. His palm rests at the back of Elician’s hand. He wishes he had removed his glove first. He will later.
Gently, he slides his fingertips into the gap between Elician’sfingers. He twists their hands above the collection of dead flora. Leaning in, his lips close enough to caress Elician’s ear, he whispers instructions. Elician’s eyes flutter shut. ‘Can you feel them?’ Cat asks. ‘The shape of the sticks…the structure of them? The atoms and molecules that make them whole?’
‘Yes,’ he breathes back in turn. Even in the dark, Cat imagines Elician’s cheeks flushing. Warmth radiates from his body as if the sun itself resides beneath Elician’s breast. Elician’s tongue flicks out, licking his lips.
‘Concentrate.’ Lunae slips from Cat’s mouth now. It is a smoother language, softer, sweeter. For all of Fen’s insistence that Soleben is superior, the tone and tenor of Lunae has always been one of water flowing precisely in the direction that it needs to flow and doing so with no faults or breaks or hesitations. ‘Feel every part of their existence…everything to keep them steady andherein this world.’
‘Yes,’ Elician replies, in Lunae as well, his charming accent coiling its way through Cat’s bloodstream. He could listen to Elician speak for hours.
‘Ignite it,’ Cat murmurs. ‘Make all of the atoms come alive.’ Elician’s fingers close, trapping Cat’s hand in place. Fire sparks on the leaves. It spreads to the twigs, growing brighter and hotter in seconds. ‘Well done,’ Cat praises. ‘Very well done.’ He shifts, preparing to slip away, but Elician opens his eyes. He turns, pulling Cat’s body around until his other hand cradles Cat’s face, and then Elician presses his lips to Cat’s in the first proper kiss they have ever shared.
It is what Cat dreamed of on their wedding night. Soft, lingering, warm. Cat’s heart beats faster. He leans forward, deepening the contact. Dizzy and breathless all at once. Elician’s hand is at his cheek. His fingers threading through his hair. Cat gasps, moans, surprising himself with a sound he has never made before in his life. Elician pulls back. Just a little. Just enough. His gorgeous brown eyes are wide, staring at Cat with such a look of perplexed confusion andwonder. ‘I love you,’ Cat whispers into the space between them, meaning it. Meaning every word.
‘How?’ Elician asks him. ‘After everything that’s happened…how could you love me?’
‘Because of everything that has happened,’ Cat replies.
‘I took you prisoner…practically assaulted you in Kreuzfurt.’ That…is a bit of an exaggeration.
‘I let you take me prisoner,’ Cat says. ‘I could have left whenever I wanted.’ Elician shakes his head, wounded and disbelieving. Cat licks his lips. He leans closer, desperate to be understood now when it matters most. ‘You gave me those gloves so I wouldn’t hurt the horse, and…you gave me apples whenever I was hungry. You had no alternative desire, no hidden motive. You talked to me, told me everything I could expect, and were honest about what would happen. You asked me if I was comfortable, and if I was okay. You…were the first person in over a decade who was neither a Reaper nor someone who wanted to use me for their own purpose who was justkind. Who found joy in just staying up at night looking for nightcats in the shadows. I knew I was supposed to kill you or your family but I…I didn’t want to hurt you.’
‘Any man could have been kind to you then,’ Elician refutes. ‘That’s not love, that’s…being smitten. It could have been anyone.’
‘But it wasn’t anyone. It was you. It was you who held me in Kreuzfurt, and you who wished for a future for me I had never imagined for myself. It was you who, without even knowing who I was, dreamed of a future where you and the Moon Prince would one day be able to speak to one another. You wrote poetry about beauty and potential. You cared so much for your family, your country – my Reapers. You spoke to me of your dreams, your desires. You saw my pain and you strived to make it better. You yearned for peace for all. How could I not have loved you?’ Then, with a little bit of frustration, he asks, ‘How could you notknow?’ Elician winces. ‘I agreed to marry you.’
‘Yes, I thought…for our mission, our dream. For…peace.’
‘Fen said love is wanting to never be alone,’ Cat murmurs. ‘That love is when you just want to be with that person, for ever, no matter what. And if you see a world where you might be alone in it, you say and do anything to keep the person you love with you at all times.’ They are speaking in Lunae. He switches to Soleben just to be clear. ‘Vak. Vakis the word Fen used.’ The colour drains from Elician’s face as he sits up. His hands snap to Cat’s arms, holding on tight.
Cat has been honest from the start, from the moment he asked Elician to marry him. He had said,I will not go to Alelune alone.He had said in Lunae,Not for ever. Not to rule. But if you swear you’d go with me…that I would not be there alone…I would do it if I wasn’t alone.
Love me, he had meant. Love me, be with me, cherish me. He used the words Fen had taught him but in a language that had no translation for what that word implied, and Elician stares at him now like it had never occurred to him to think Cat’s meaning to be true.
‘I sleep with you every night,’ Cat continues, flushing violently as horror threatens to wash away any courage he might have had. ‘Ourdreamdoes not need that,youdo.’
‘You meant it,’ Elician breathes out. ‘All of it –you meant it.’
‘Why would I ever lie to you?’ he asks, knowing full well that Elician lies tohimfrequently and whenever he thinks he will get away with it.
‘You…and you were…you kept that stupid sketch of that cat I made and…Gods, you were always there and I – I was afraid to think you felt that way.’ The words come out as a jumbled mess. Elician’s Lunae is garbled, his accent tumbling awkwardly over the intrinsic melody of the language. They falter back and forth in each other’s tongues, trying to find a meaning between two cultures and, this time, refusing to let it lie until they both truly do understand.
‘You said you didn’t want anything more, that it was just politics,’ Cat murmurs. ‘You…I thought…I thought that youknewbut were telling me that you didn’t…’
‘I didn’t want to force you – everyone has alwaysforcedyou—’
‘I’m the one who made you marry me to end a war.’
‘You – no, that’s not what I agreed to.’
‘I put you in a terrible position. You had to argue with Adalei and your government becauseItold you I wouldn’t go to Alelune alone and—’
‘I didn’t want you to go alone either – that—’ Elician’s hands leave
Cat’s arms. They cup his face. ‘Tell me again,’ he asks.
‘Tell you what?’
‘Tell me you love me, tell me again.’
