Page 72 of In Her Own Way
“It was the first time at school that there had been anything remotely related to trans...” Mrs. Baker sighed. “Trans anything.” Tears were filling the woman’s eyes. Jessica leaped up and snagged the box of tissues from her desk. “Thank you,” Mrs. Baker said. The next thoughts came out in a fast stream as if bottled up and under pressure. “Joss’s father isn’t quite on board. Not yet, but Ms. Bennett, I’m going to confide something very personal to you.”
“Okay,” Jessica said softly.
“Joss is transgender. Joss knows I’m here to talk to you about this today. And I hope I’m not overstepping, but you seem like an ally, an understanding teacher, maybe someone Joss can talk to?”
“Of course.” Jessica reached over and touched Mrs. Baker’s arm in sympathy. “I did that lesson on purpose.”
“We know. I mean, it was subtle, but we heard it loud and clear. You are Joss’s favorite teacher.”
“Aww, that’s sweet,” Jessica said. “I assume Joss is not exactly out yet?”
“No. One close friend from the volleyball traveling team, my husband, and a gender-affirming therapist. And now you know. He—” Mrs. Baker stopped talking and swallowed hard. “This is the first time I’ve allowed myself to use that pronoun. I must feel safe with you.”
“Your little girl told you that she’s leaving. It’s hard to adjust.” Jessica started tearing up and grabbed a tissue. “That has to be incredibly difficult, but Joss is finally becoming the real person he’s always known he was.”
“It’s a lot,” Mrs. Baker admitted.
“So how do we play this?” Jessica asked. She didn’t want to assume.
“He doesn’t want to be outted, so please don’t call him by he/him. Please don’t single him out now that you know.”
“Got it,” Jessica said. “Easy enough.”
“Can you be a resource for him? Someone he can come to when he gets overwhelmed?”
“Absolutely,” Jessica said. “I’m no expert in trans anything, but I’ll look for resources. It would be helpful if we had more official information as teachers. I mean, it’s still kind of not on anyone’s radar to help kids navigate this path. It needs to be talked about. That’s for sure.”
“We haven’t talked to any of the counselors here at PUA, but he’s going to a psychologist once a week to work out his feelings. We learned that in Ohio, since he’s only fourteen, he has to wait four more years to get hormone therapy or surgery of any kind.”
“Yeah, the new legislation makes that part difficult, but I’m glad kids can still get access to gender affirming therapists.”
Mrs. Baker nodded, grabbed another tissue, and said, “We may have to move to one of the states that still protect transgender healthcare for minors. I don’t know. His father isn’t on board with any of it.”
“Not yet,” Jessica said. “Like you, he’s probably trying to understand it. I mean, Daddy’s little girl suddenly isn’t. But it’s not sudden for Joss. He’s probably known for a long while now. And hopefully, your husband will come to realize that Joss is still the same person with the same values, sense of humor, and intelligence.”
“I hope,” Mrs. Baker said. “It’s just going to take Stephen time, I guess. Another option might be homeschooling. I just don’t know what we’re going to do.”
“I’m sorry the world is lagging behind,” Jessica said.
“Another reason I wanted to meet with you today is to ask if you’d be willing to tutor Joss if we do go to homeschooling.”
“Sign me up,” Jessica said, not hesitating one iota.
Mrs. Baker blew out a sigh and then reached over to pat Jessica’s arm. “Thank you, Ms. Bennett. And thank you for the subtle signal.” She tapped the grammar worksheet and then put it in her bag.
The meeting obviously over, both women stood. Jessica moved in for a hug first, and Mrs. Baker gladly accepted it. It wasn’t protocol to hug students’ parents, but Jessica was making an exception.
Once Mrs. Baker left and Jessica was alone in her car in the faculty parking lot, she blew out a sigh to shake off the heaviness of the meeting. Poor Joss had a tough road ahead and not one of his own making.
She had the desperate urge to call Victoria and discuss what had just happened, but she didn’t. She couldn’t. She’d promised Mrs. Baker she would keep her newfound knowledge under wraps. But what she could do was get some of her thoughts out in herKinksgroup under the Gender topic that Vic had posted.
“Funny,” Jessica said out loud. “Sometimes I think of her as Vic and sometimes as Victoria.”
She opened theKinksapp and found the Gender topic.
Topic:Gender
Question:(2 parts) How do you define gender? And how do you go about supporting a transgender person?
