Page 70 of In Her Own Way
“I don’t mind at all,” Jessica said truthfully. “I’m glad you trusted me.”
“I don’t typically lean on people,” Victoria said.
“Leaning on people isn’t a sign of weakness,” Jessica said and added, “It’s a sign of drunkenness.”
Victoria’s laughter burst into the phone. It was one of the best sounds Jessica had heard in a long time.
“You’re facing your actions,” Jessica continued. “That’s incredibly brave. And if you’re afraid, that’s normal. Feel the fear, Victoria.” Oh, how good it felt to say her name. “The only way through it is through it.”
“I bet you’re one of those teachers who actually listens to the kids, aren’t you? High school teacher?”
“I try to, and yes, high school.”
“Tell me more about this Clit magazine of yours,” Victoria said, clearly holding back laughter.
Jessica chuckled. “Now that would be an interesting mag. Just not very appropriate for school, I imagine.”
“Guess not.”
Jessica knew that Victoria was stalling a bit by asking about her project, but that was okay. Jessica had students who would get her off topic, but what they soon realized was that she always steered things back to the original lesson.
After giving Victoria a few more details about the lit magazine project, she said, “So, I’m going to be blunt. Why didn’t you ask this B if she was into lactation?”
Victoria’s sigh came through loud and clear over the phone, but Jessica waited.
“I think I got so full of myself that I didn’t understand that my actions had consequences,” Victoria admitted. “I was above all that. I was a God. Actually, I never thought that, but damn, women gave me a lot of attention, and it went to my head. I guess. I think. I don’t really know.”
“Did you feel like you were beyond reproach? Like you were the Dommely Domme and B was just a submissive?”
“Beyond reproach, maybe,” Victoria said. “But I never once thought B was ‘just a submissive.’ I revere the women in my care. But, you’re right, I may not have treated us as equals. What an ass I am. Oh, my God.”
It sounded like Victoria was having another epiphany, so Jessica remained quiet.
“And,” Victoria continued, “at the time I didn’t realize how green she was. How new. I typically play with experienced subs, you know? Subs that know their way around a scene. I expected B to use her safe words or tell me she didn’t like something. That was so stupid on my part. My assumption made an ass out of only me.”
“Million-dollar question coming up,” Jessica said. “So, you didn’t ask B ifshewas into lactation. But why didn’t you tell her thatyouwere?”
“I don’t know,” Victoria said.
“How long have you had this fetish?”
“I’m not sure it’s a fetish, just a new kink I’d read about and wanted to try. I was kind of obsessing over it in my head, actually. And I guess maybe I was embarrassed about it.” Victoria stayed quiet for a moment and then added. “I think thatwas it, JB. I was, and still am, embarrassed over having a kink like that.”
“Ahh, that’s a popular kink, actually,” Jessica said. “And I’m hoping your people aren’t into kink shaming, because that’s kind of not cool.”
“No, they’re not, but thanks for that reassurance.”
“So now you understand a bit more aboutwhyyou didn’t tell her what was in those supplement packets.”
“Yeah,” Victoria said. “That wasn’t fair to her. How am I going to convey all this to her?”
“Well, you could tell her all these things you just told me.”
“What if she doesn’t believe anything I say? Or, worse, what if she won’t talk to me?”
“If she won’t talk to you, there’s nothing more you can do. You’re making peace with yourself, and that will have to be good enough, right?”
“I guess.”
