Page 68 of In Her Own Way
Even though Jessica was more than willing to meet with any of her students’ parents, she wondered why Josalyn’s mother wanted an appointment. Josalyn was a straight-A student and posed no behavioral problems. If anything, she was a bit too quiet.
“Any time, Mrs. Baker,” Jessica said. “Since we’re closed for Thanksgiving all of next week, can you come in one day this week?”
“Would tomorrow work? Right after school?”
“Perfect,” Jessica said. “I’ll see you in my classroom then.” And with that, Josalyn’s mother melded into the crowd.
Jessica found KC, and together they waited until most of the students had filed out of the gym. The security team took over after that. KC walked Jessica to her car and then headed to hers. Once in her car with the engine started, Jessica took a deep breath. She finally had a moment to herself.
All day, she’d wanted to pull out her phone and see if Daddy Vic had responded to the short message she’d sent the night before. She opened herKinksapp.
“Whoa,” she said as her eyes grew wide. There were four messages, all from Daddy Vic. She turned her phone face down on her leg. Should she wait until she got home and was cozy on the couch to read them? Her brain was already rejecting that preposterous notion. Her hand turned over the phone.
She hoped beyond hope that there was something of substance in the messages. Jessica hadn’t realized until just that moment, sitting alone in her car at the end of an incrediblybusy day, that she was in desperate need of connection. Meeting KC had helped in that regard, but she wanted a deep soul-connection with someone. She forced herself to chill. Desperation had caused her to do some dicey things in the past, and she refused to go down that path again. “Keep calm and read on,” she said out loud and forced herself to read each one of Daddy Vic’s messages slowly. The first three had been sent late last night, around midnight. The fourth one was sent a couple of hours ago.
After reading them, she said, “Okay. That was a lot.” The logical part of her brain told her to drive home, read them all again, and rationally figure out how to respond. “Fuck that,” the not-so-rational side of her brain made her say. “The woman wants to be friends. And that’s what I want, too. I’m going in.”
She groaned and decided to answer the messages in reverse order. She reread the last one first.
Daddy Vic:So, since I haven’t heard from you, I’m going to assume that, since you now know what kind of jerk I can be, you’d rather not engage. I understand. Please just let me know that definitively. That way, I can fade out of your life and remove myself from your group.
Juicy_Babe:I don’t think you’re a jerk, Daddy Cheese. And I do want to engage. Very much. I also enjoy our exchanges. And, yes, I’d like to be your friend. That makes me feel good, too. So, what the heck was all that with Yes_Ma’am? As the group admin, I need to know how you’re feeling about that exchange in your Gender topic, okay?
Juicy_Babe:I had the busiest school day today. My project at work is going great (in the planning).Thank you for the push to assert myself and streamline it to fit within my own needs and capabilities. I hope to get it launched on Thursday or Friday, then work on it over Thanksgiving break and beyond. I’ve given it an early-ish December pub date, so I’m hopeful (fingers crossed) that it’s all doable. We’ll see.
Juicy_Babe:And is it okay to say that I’m proud of you for doing so much inner work to understand your behavior in your old hometown? Many would brush it off and forget about it. Not you. You’re trying to understand yourself and why you did the things you did.
Juicy_Babe:I feel privileged that you felt safe enough with me to tell the details of what happened. You seem to want permission to accept responsibility. But the first thing you need to do, I think, is to find a way to quiet the disturbance in your head. A Domme acquaintance recently reminded me to drink water, sleep, eat well, and exercise. Are you doing those things? CAN you do those things after getting zapped by your idiot cousin? (And if we’re debating who’s a jerk around here, he wins. Hands down, even though I don’t know that whole story). I hope you’re okay. Any lasting effects?
Juicy_Babe:Sorry if I’m rambling, but we have a week’s worth of messaging to make up, right? Anyway, you say you ‘ran away’ from it, but it’s sounding like you’re developing the courage to go right back and face it head on. Like, really face it thistime. Will you? Because what you’re not changing, you’re choosing. (Cliché, I know.)
Juicy_Babe:I’m heading home now. I’ll check in later.
Jessica put the car in drive and headed the short distance to her apartment. In her messages to Daddy Vic, she’d purposely let it ‘slip’ that she worked in a school and that her big project was a ‘pub.’ Daddy Vic might not know what that was, but maybe she’d ask. Jessica added that last message about heading home because she could see how anxious Daddy Vic was about rejection. Maybe that was part of the underlying angst the woman obviously felt. Had those people outright rejected her? Is that why she had to flee her hometown?
Jessica let herself into the apartment and absent-mindedly petted Misty. She realized that Daddy Vic seemed to want a sounding board. Messaging back and forth was not the best way to communicate, but giving out her phone number was one of her hard limits. It was an absolute no-no, except for the fact that she’d recently given it to Lisa.
She hadn’t even taken her coat off when she hit Lisa’s phone number.
“Well, well,” Lisa said, answering on the first ring. “Good to see you back in the group, hun.”
“Thanks,” Jessica said, and put Lisa on speakerphone. She took off her coat. “Question for you. And I want an honest answer.”
“Always,” Lisa said. “Go.”
She gave Lisa a broad-strokes summary of the messages Daddy Vic had sent her and then said, “I want to help her. I want to give her my phone number or something and just talk to her. It would be so much easier, but then I wonder if I have ulteriormotives. Which maybe I do, but will she then think I’m as thirsty as Yes_Ma’am?”
Lisa laughed. “Okay, that was a lot, hun.”
Rachel laughed in the background. “Yes, it was.”
“Sorry,” Jessica said and headed to the freezer to pull out something to microwave for dinner.
“Yes_Ma’am has been inactive,” Lisa said. “So, I think for now we leave her in the group, and if she acts out again, we remove her. But if Daddy Vic tells you she has an issue with her, then she gets tossed instantly.”
“I agree.” Jessica was feeling much calmer now that she had a friend to talk things over with.
“And you may be on a dry spell, right now,” Lisa said, “but I don’t get thirsty vibes from you at all.”
