Page 39 of In Her Own Way
“Yeah, maybe,” Lauren said. “Maybe I realized that I have different needs than…Okay, I have to fess up. I have a life partner.”
“I figured.”
“You did?”
“Yeah,” Victoria said succinctly. “When you weren’t asking to meet me outside of the dungeon, that was the biggest clue. But there were others.”
“Like what?”
Victoria lifted one of Lauren’s hands. “This white wedding ring line. You take off your ring right before you come in. I noticed it during our first session.”
“I’m sorry.”
“No, no, don’t be,” Victoria said. “Many people explore. But I’d venture a guess your person doesn’t know you come here. They don’t know you have these desires, do they?”
“No, she doesn’t. I mean, I’ve tried to bring it up subtly, like pointing out something on TV or conjecturing about someone at Venus Rising, but she just laughs and thinks it’s a big joke.” Lauren shrugged.
“And that’s making you feel how?”
The words were right there and came out fast. “Unheard. Unseen. Lonely. Stuck.”
“Like you have no voice. Like you have no control,” Victoria said, hoping Lauren would catch on.
“Fuck. So that’s why I wanted a scene where I had no control at all. I would never ever want that scene to be real. OMG. The brain works in strange ways, doesn’t it?”
Victoria laughed. “It does. So, I guess you’ll have to figure out a way to find more control or at least find a way to speak your truth. There’s always the polyamory way.”
“Which she’ll never go for.”
“You could start slow. Your partner may discover that she likes these things, too. Try asking her to bind your wrists to the bedposts with scarves. Or you bind hers. Have her give you a light spanking.”
Lauren laughed. “These sound like gateway drugs into BDSM.”
“For many, it is,” Victoria said. “I mean, you could say that you heard about these things somewhere and thought maybe the two of you could experiment. You know, for science.”
“For science,” Lauren said with a laugh.
“Maybe you could read a novel with BDSM elements with lesbians as the main characters.”
“They have those?
Victoria chuckled. “Yes. Look online. There are even social media groups that discuss books in that genre.”
“I’m in,” Lauren said. “Thank you for the advice.” She sat up and stretched. “So, Vic, how about you help me explore more of what Hunter was doing to me?”
“Aha,” Victoria said, standing up. “I’ve created an anal enthusiast, have I?”
“Maybe,” Lauren wrapped her arms around Victoria’s neck and kissed her thoroughly.
Ahh, yes, round two that afternoon would be so much more satisfying than round one.
~~~
Two afternoons later, Victoria sat in her pickup truck in front of her aunt and uncle’s house. It was Sunday afternoon, time for the family dinner, but she couldn’t bring herself to actually get out and head up the walkway to the front door. She still had her Friday afternoon meetup with Lauren on her mind.
Victoria had said to Lauren, “It’s hard to find your voice sometimes. Especially when it has been stifled for so long. When you finally do speak up, no one seems to hear you.” As she said the words, she realized she was kind of thinking about her father’s situation. He landed in prison for many years because he didn’t speak up when his brother did him wrong. He had stayed “loyal to the family.” He put “family first” and didn’t rat out anyone else. He took so much more than his share of the hit.
Victoria looked up at the comfortable two-story house in the well-to-do neighborhood. “And you benefited, Uncle Jimmy, didn’t you?”
