Page 19 of In Her Own Way
She checked the cameras without seeing them. “Rikki was right,” she muttered. “If I’d just asked you, you might have gone along with it. I abused your good and kind-hearted nature, and I never deserved your forgiveness in the end. I’m glad Rikki married you. You deserve someone amazing like her.”
Victoria stood up so fast that her chair skidded behind her and hit the wall. She jammed her phone in her pocket and threw on her jacket.
“Me? I don’t deserve anyone, no matter what Kimo’s freakin’ universe thinks.” And with that declaration, she yanked open the security room door and began an unseeing walk around an empty storage facility.
Chapter 6
Jessica
On the way home from Dominique’s Dungeon, Jessica had driven around Denton Heights looking for the coffee shop Mistress Starr had mentioned. She was rewarded with the second one she found. It said, in bright gold leaf lettering on the front window, “Rikki’s Coffee Shop,” so there was absolutely no mistaking where she would go to grade papers and have some sort of breakfast the next morning. Did they serve food?
It was late Saturday night, and she was home and showered, the furball on her lap. She was a bit too wired after her session at the dungeon, so she was up, tablet in hand. She found the coffee shop’s website and a quick check revealed a resounding no to the food question. They did offer sweet treats, however. But that wasn’t breakfast. She’d stop somewhere beforehand and grab something quick to go.
Jessica yawned and scritched Misty on the head. Misty made a noise of pleasure, stretched, but then settled back down to sleep. Yeah, Jessica was tired but also wide awake after seeing Miss Marta and her friends, and then there was the amazing session with Mistress Starr. The woman was a master at her craft. Jessica wondered how Mistress Rikki knew her. Was shea client, too? Or maybe Mistress Starr liked to get her coffee in Denton Heights. Maybe she even lived in Denton Heights.
“She’s married, asshole,” Jessica said to herself. “You’re not in love with her. And the biggest one of all, she’s not sapphicly inclined.” She picked up her tablet and muttered, “Speaking of sapphicly-inclined women.” She opened up herKinksapp. “Ooh, another application for the group.”
She frowned. With a name like “Daddy Vic,” this one was sure to be rejected as fast as her fingers could fly. She hated those thirsty assholes trying to get their rocks off in a women-only space. “Idiots.”
She gave everyone a chance, though, and clicked on the link to Daddy Vic’s homepage.Whoa. The profile picture alone got Jessica’s attention. Arousal hit her hard. The picture was a candid, showing the tall woman in motion, looking back over her shoulder. Her long sleeves were rolled up slightly, and her hair was immaculately messy, if there was such a thing. She was the tomboy next door. “Yes, please,” Jessica said out loud.
She cringed at her own thirst. She really was a hypocrite, wasn’t she? And desperate. Grrr. She put the tablet down for a moment, closed her eyes, and chastised herself for being so obviously lustfully needy. But one thing was for sure, this Daddy Vic was clearly a woman, a masculine woman, but a woman, nonetheless. She perused the rest of the page. The woman had no crazy fetishes or kinks. Jessica didn’t even cringe when she read about Daddy Vic’s lactation fetish. Many people in all walks of life had that fetish, so that was fine. The usual hard limits were there, too. Good. If the woman was into scat or anything weird, then Jessica would keep her at arms’ length. Oh, no, she was vehemently opposed to breath play. Bummer. Jessica never could get Marta to try that with her. Some of her play partners since then had, though. And it had been exhilarating. But whatever. You can’t have them all.
“You have your kinks, I have mine.” Jessica moved the cursor to the green approved button and pressed. She scrolled through some of the other photos on Daddy Vic’s page. “She’s probably as thirsty as the rest of them. So, whatever.” She recognized her statement as ‘sour grapes,’ but seriously, there was no way Jessica could ever land someone like that. She couldn’t land anyone, except casual, meaningless one-night stands or online text sex.
“My life is so exciting,” Jessica said sarcastically to Misty, who apparently liked it that way.
Jessica sent the standard welcome message to the group’s new member, then returned to theSapphic D/s group. She posted another new topic, hoping to spark some dialogue. When she’d first discovered the pain-to-pleasure connection and the world of BDSM way back at Blackwell College, she had trouble finding a sapphic community to interact with. Munches were mostly hetero with male Doms. The female Dommes were also hetero, and mostly Fin Dommes. Jessica wanted a genuine relationship with a dominant woman, not someone who just wanted money or worship. Mistress Marta had been a godsend when they’d locked eyes at Dominique’s that one night. She took trips to Denton Heights to see Mistress Marta and fell in love with the quaint suburb. It made her realize that she didn’t have to live in a crappy apartment in Cincinnati. She hadn’t been able to afford a decent one on her teacher’s salary. And then when she saw the English teaching position open at PUA, she jumped on it. And got it. She always did interview well. Of course, her mother wasn’t impressed with her prestigious new job, barely acknowledging Jessica’s career growth. She only asked if Jessica had a boyfriend yet. Her mother reasoned that at age thirty-one, Jessica should be married or at least engaged by now. And, of course, the marriage would need to be with someone male and Christian. At least one of those was definitelynot going to happen. She’d had enough of her mother and stepfather’s homophobia and Christian nationalism.Someone told her once that even successful, happy, thriving children are a disappointment to their parents simply because they aren’t living up to their parents’ visions and expectations.
“I get to live my own life, right?” Jessica said to no one. Grrr. She hated it when thoughts about being such a huge disappointment to her mother intruded. That’s why she had gone two states away for college and stayed. Illinois was close enough yet far enough away.
She groaned again in an attempt to shake off the feeling and went back to her online group. She clicked on hermale-versus-masculineenergytopic and saw two responses, one from her favorite erotica writer onKinks.
Rachels_Toy:My wife has masculine energy in spades, but she is not male. Male energy? I’m not sure how to describe that and the difference between the two, but I think there is a difference. Looking forward to seeing replies. Good question, Juicy_Babe.
lesbo_submisso:No difference. Males are masculine. Females are feminine. End of story.
Well, that’s nicely narrow-minded there,LS, Jessica thought. She agreed with Rachels_Toy and was looking forward to more responses. She was about to post her own response, echoing Rachels_Toy, but decided against it. She wanted the group members to think about it. She didn’t want to be the ‘sage on the stage’ but more like the ‘guide on the side.’ Maybe there would be more responses tomorrow. Sundays seemed to be when the group was most active.
She added another topic to the group only because it was on her mind, not because she wanted to give the members more homework.
Topic:Impact Play (Two-part Question)
Question:Why is impact play so cathartic for submissives? How do you approach impact with your play partners?
Weariness overcame her. She closed theKinksapp and nudged Misty off her lap. As she got into bed and snuggled under the covers, the cat now repositioned by her side, a wonderful feeling blossomed in her chest. She was going to that coffee shop in the morning. Yay, something different. Sleep came quickly.
The very next morning, Jessica leaped out of bed and made quick work of organizing her messenger bag for the field trip to the coffee shop. She skipped coffee at home, preferring to sample the wares there. On the way, she stopped at Bagelsly Bagels and ordered her favorite, a toasted sesame seed bagel with tons of cream cheese. Nice place, she thought. She’d have to go back at some point.
She drove slowly down Market Street, the main strip in Denton Heights. It was so quaint. She was glad to see her new town in the light of day. There was an old-fashioned-looking drugstore, a couple of clothing boutiques, a toy store, and a furniture shop. Ahh, there it was, Rikki’s Coffee Shop. She pulled into the small parking lot next to the shop, grateful to find a space so close.
Once inside, the vibe was warm and welcoming. The pace was easy and calm, just what Jessica needed that morning. The move to a new school had been needed, but she hadn’t realized until just that moment as she got in line to order that a move toa new town had also been something her soul yearned for. This coffee shop felt good. Trust your instincts, right?
She ordered a hot vanilla latte from a tall perky young woman who shot her such a beaming smile that Jessica shot one back. Was the woman flirting? Maybe. Who knows. She settled at a table near the front windows, even though it was a little chilly there. It was early October, and apparently, autumn was officially here. She put her toasted bagel, probably cold by now, on the table, then unpacked her messenger bag and colored grading pens. She had to knock out these grammar worksheets because big essays were coming soon. Essays that Jessica would have to grade, so she needed her desk clear of things like grammar worksheets. Even though her students complained about learning poetry, they didn’t realize that as soon as the second quarter began, they were going to get hit with the freight train known as Shakespeare,Hamletto be exact. It was one of Jessica’s favorite plays, afterA Midsummer Night’s Dream, of course. And then there was the classicRomeo and Juliet. Ahh, whatever, she had too many favorites.
“Jessica B?” someone called from the front. Jessica stood up to get her coffee. Her eyes got wide. It was Rikki herself putting her cup down in the pickup area.
“Hello, Miss—” Jessica cut herself off. There were protocols in place when out in the wild. Never address a dominant by their title if vanillas were around. “Umm, hi again,” Jessica said, cursing herself for stammering.
