Page 92 of In Her Own Way
“We’re praying for you and this woke country to return to simple traditional values. We’re praying for God to guide you back to the foundation this country was built on, Jessica. We pray that God opens your eyes, so you see the truth.”
Your truth, not mine.
And next would be the one she always ended with. “I’m praying for your soul, Jessica.”Bam, there it is.
“Okay, Mom,” Jessica said and picked up her grading pen. “I have to get back to grading, Mom. Thanks for calling.”No, really, thanks for calling to get your monthly pep talk out of the way.Her mother said goodbye and Jessica ended the call.
Long ago, in high school, probably, Jessica stopped trying to dissuade her mother from joining that radical movement to no avail. Even knowing she had a lesbian daughter didn’t help. That only fueled the fire, so to speak.
She shook, literally shook, off her mother’s call and texted Lisa.
Jessica:I’m fine. Victoria and I are doing well. This whole community here supports us. Thank you for your concern, but I’m okay. More than okay, actually. So, does that mean that Victoria also knows who you are?
Jessica’s happy bubble had been rocked by Lisa’s confession and concern. She didn’t know what to think.
Lisa:I’m glad to hear that it’s going well. Rachel says people deserve a chance to grow and clean up their acts. And, no, Daddy Vic has no clue who I am. Even when you told her my name. I’m sure of it.
Jessica:Thanks for the concern, my friend. I’m grateful that I have someone I trust looking out for me.
Lisa:Glad to do it.
Jessica:Time to get back to grading. Talk later.
After that, Jessica devoted herself to grading exams. One more day of this, and she’d be able to turn in the grades early and have the entire Winter Break off until January. And in January, she would be showing the entire English Department her method for teaching grammar, since her students had destroyed all others on their standardized grammar tests.
A couple of hours later, Jessica was walking arm in arm with Victoria on a mulch-covered hiking trail. Victoria had used the term hike, so Jessica thought they’d be climbing up hills and dodging rock slides, but this was little more than a walking path. She loved hanging off Victoria’s arm. She loved letting everyone know that she belonged to this amazing woman, not that there were any people out on this cold but sunny afternoon.
“We’re in luck,” Victoria said and picked up the pace. “The fire tower is open.”
Jessica looked up. That was a long way up. She wasn’t petrified of heights, just the normal amount necessary for self-preservation.
“Up for it?”
Jessica looked up again and nodded tentatively.
Victoria leaned close. “Color?”
“Yellow. I trust you, just not sure about our forest people.”
“We’ll take it slow then.”
“Okay,” Jessica said, reaching out to test the handrails. They seemed sturdy enough. “Okay,” she said again.
Victoria held out her hand, and Jessica let herself be escorted to the staircase. Victoria stayed behind her at every step. She didn’t fuss when Jessica needed a break on some of the landings, but soon enough, they made it all the way up. And, once at the top, Victoria did that thing Jessica was coming to love. She held her from behind.
“I wanted you to see this view,” Victoria said. She pointed toward the forest preserve below and the sprawling suburbsbeyond. She released Jessica and then hand-in-hand walked the entire top deck, taking in the view of the Cincinnati skyline. It was breathtaking.
Jessica had to loosen her scarf and take off her wool cap. She’d worked up a sweat on the way up. And, so far, no red flags had popped up. She was kind of miffed at Lisa for bringing doubts into her new relationship, but intellectually, she knew it was just out of concern. And, besides, Victoria seemed to have the support of the entire community, including Bernadette. Those were very green flags as far as Jessica was concerned. She needed to change the dialogue in her head.
“Is that the Ohio River?” When Victoria nodded, Jessica turned to face her. “Thank you for showing me this.”
Out of nowhere, Victoria started crying. She released Jessica and turned away, covered her face, and said, “I’ve been such a fuck-up my whole life. I can’t believe you’re taking a chance on me. You must have heard more about me from them. Arrogant. Womanizer. Insensitive jerk.”
“You’re far from any of those things, Victoria,” Jessica said softly. “You’re actually quite sensitive. Your people love you, Victoria.” She moved to face her. “AndIlove you.”
That seemed to make Victoria cry even more. Her face in a grimace, she kissed Jessica on the forehead and said, “I love you, too, JB. I mean, it seems so fast, but I’ve been wanting to say that to you for a long time now. I didn’t dare.”
“Move in with me,” Jessica blurted and then cringed. She hadn’t meant to ask so soon. “You’re kind of without lodging, right? Nowhere to ‘hang your hat?’”
