Page 93 of Quiet Obsession
It shouldn’t turn me on, knowing she can take everything I throw her way. It shouldn’t make my cock hard, remembering how her bodyaskedfor more when I was pushing her past the point I should have. I shouldn’t entertain the idea of being that rough, because I took it too far.
The bruises all over her body are concrete proof.
I took her virginity for fuck’s sake.
Unknowingly, but still, it shouldn’t have happened that way. I didn’t ask if she could handle me fucking her like a savage. I didn’t consider how I’d feel when the heat faded and the guilt set in.I just took.
And that’s the part my mind keeps circling back to.
I didn’t stop.
My father never stopped, either. He hit me until he was too tired to carry on.
My head doesn’t care that I never raised a hand to Millie. That I’dneverdo it. I wouldn’t hit her or belittle her, but even without that, there are too many parallels.
And it’s a slippery fucking slope because even knowing how wrong it all was, I still want her.
I wake up hard, recalling her open, defiant expression. She looked magnificent beneath me.Full of me. Breathtaking. So fucking beautiful. I fuck my fist twice a day, thinking about the sounds she made when she came all over my cock. The ecstasy painting her face and hooding her spectacular eyes.
I told her I won’t be her monster, but what do you know? I might actually be a fucking liar because the real reason behind my ongoing spiral isn’t what I did... it’s that I’m still not fucking sorry enough to really let her go.
***
After I’ve drunk three more piss-beers, Hyde inhales a deep, centering breath, turning his body my way. He looks like he’s bracing for impact, and I straighten my spine, suddenly not so certain he doesn’t know about Millie and me.
“Spit it out,” I say, chasing the words with another swig.
I’ve no idea why I haven’t ordered a Coke or some sweet, colorful, virgin drink. This stuff’s shit.
“Hit me,” he tells Jed, pushing his empty bottle aside.
Beating a confession out of him would be quicker.
“Is it about the girl?” I ask.
“What girl?”
“The freshman you damn near fucked in the middle of the common room.Thatgirl.”
His shoulders drop an inch as he chuckles. “I was drunk, Creed, and she was asking if I wanted herandher friend.”
“So you’re not seeing anyone?”
“No. Nothing changed. I’d tell you if I met someone worth my time. For now, I’m trying to be a little less obvious. Millie doesn’t need to know her brother’s fucking around.”
Now it’s my turn to laugh. “You think she doesn’t realize? If gossiping were an Olympic sport, her roommate would be a gold medalist. Millie doesn’t have to see you with a different girl every few days to know what you’re doing.”
“Maybe, but—”
“Pretending’s easier?” I guess. “You pretend you’re not sleeping around, and she pretends she doesn’t know that you do.”
“Something like that.”
“Whatever works.” I pull from my bottle, wincing as the last of the lukewarm piss trails down my esophagus. “So? You ready to tell me what’s eating at you?”
He rubs both hands up and down his face. His fingers linger at his mouth, pressing hard against his lips. “I saw them.”
I don’t like the tone of his voice. It makes my spine stiffen and jaw clench. “Them being...?”
