Page 23 of Quiet Obsession
He doesn’t deserve that level of trust, or my unconditionallove, but I alwayswanteda big brother. He’s finally grown into the role, and I cling to him, fulfilling my childhood dreams. On some level, I understand why he pushed me away back then. Why watching a movie with me wasn’t as appealing as his friends and girls, but it hurt all the same. Maybe Evan’s words wouldn’t have hurt so much if Hyde hadn’t phased me out first.
“Not Mom or Dad,” he continues, his cheek rubbing against my forehead. “Not Noah, or Dash.Creed. You can trust him, sis. I trust him with my fucking life.”
I close my eyes, inhaling deeply, looking for the right words to explain why everything locked up when I first saw Creed. Why my voice disappeared and my heart picked up its rhythm.
“Millie,” Hyde prompts. “Talk to me. Don’t shut me off. Why haven’t you spoken one word all evening?”
Because the moment his best friend stepped out of the house and looked at me, I feltalive. He didn’t scan me for cracks, didn’t soften his voice, didn’t look like he was second-guessing his every move. He doesn’t see a fragile, fractured thing and it fools me into thinking that maybe I’m not... maybe I could open up and be more and maybe I could trust him.
That’s dangerous.
Trust should be earned, not given. Evan taught me that. I trusted him long before he ever spoke to me. Long before he realized I existed. We were in the same classes for four years, but it wasn’t until senior year that Evan sat acrossfrom me in the library, slapping his bag on the table, a Hollywood-type smile curling his mouth when he looked me up and down.
He saidhi, saidI didn’t realize you were so cute up close, he saidprincess,and butterflies took flight in my belly.
Creed hasn’t earned my trust. I know nothing about him, but when he looks at me, I don’t feel small or broken.
“He scares me,” I whisper.
It’s the truth. A little twisted version of it, but still. He scares me because he’s tearing through my fortifications, digging out the version of me I buried deep back into the light.
All that with his presence alone. He feels safe and I don’t understand why or how. I just fucking met him.
“He’s unhinged and a trainwreck, but you’re my sister Millie and he’s basically my brother. He won’t hurt you.”
“No, he won’t,” I agree.
I’ll take his shovel away before he digs too deep.
7
Creed
I give up on sleep around six in the morning.
Dash tried piling drinks into me all night, but once Hyde came back with Millie and immediately took her upstairs, I pushed my glass aside, refusing to drink more.
Though I was tempted when he came back down, spewing a stupid ass excuse.“She’s tired. She turned in for the night.”
She wasn’t tired.
She was uncomfortable.
I spent months keeping Hyde in the right frame of mind whenever she called. Months of making sure he checked on her every day. Months of tracking her progress and steering my best friend who loses half his brain cells wherever Millie’s concerned.
And after all that time, after waiting so fucking long to meet her, I’ve made astellarfirst impression. I made herfucking uncomfortable. The very last thing I want her to feel around me.
It stung and gave me a deep need to drown that feeling with liquor, but Millie’s already paid the price for who I become when I’m drunk, so I grabbed a bottle of water instead and spent the evening semi-present, my mind ping-ponging between the funeral and ideas for making her less defensive around me.
The guys stayed downstairs long after I headed for bed. I could hear them talking until two a.m. while I lay awake, tossing, turning, and dreading the morning.
I refill my coffee cup, careful not to make much noise so my friends can sleep off their hangovers. Standing by the sink, I watch the fog curl over the lawn. Even from the warmth of my kitchen I can tell it’s freezing out there today.
Taking a slow sip, my brows pinch and pulse kicks up as the front door opens with a softwhoosh. Millie’s in the hallway, silently toeing her shoes off, chest rising and falling with deep, measured breaths, headphones covering her ears.
Looks like I’m not the only one who couldn’t sleep.
Every muscle in my body locks tight at the sight of her and it’s fuckingridiculous. Not as ridiculous as what’s tearing me apart, though. I don’t know whether to give her space or stay and pretend her silence doesn’t feel like my skin’s being stripped from my bones.
