Page 144 of Quiet Obsession
“I know, but you were Hyde’s friend first and—”
“Do I haveproperty of Hyde Wardwritten on my forehead? Does Noah or—?”
“No,” I cut in before he mentions Creed. “I get what you’re saying but I don’t want to cause problems.”
Dash chuckles. “You’re not a problem, Mini.”
Funny, because it feels like the exact opposite. I don’t say anything, pinching the string of his hoodie between my fingers.
“I want you in my life,” he says after a while. “Don’t amputate me because your brother’s having an existential crisis.”
***
The next two days pass in a strange, suspended state. I go to class, take notes, and nod when professors make eye contact.
I eat, drink, and spend a little time with Noah in the evenings, playing chess. Dash appears at random, takes me to lunch, or brings coffee to my room when it’s too late for caffeine.
I don’t cry, though every nook and cranny of the campus holds memories of Creed. Everywhere I look, I see us... kissing behind closed doors, holding each other’s gaze across the lawn, our fingers brushing under the cafeteria table whenever Hyde wasn’t paying attention.
Nights are the worst. I can’t sleep, but pills are a no-go, so I lie there and think about Creed until it hurts to breathe. I hate that he’s in my head after what he did. I hate that I replay every moment we spent together, wishing for more instead of less.
I hate that I miss him.
He’s not around. He went back to Seattle after I walked out of Noah’s room. Dash didn’t tell me until Tuesday. I tell myself I don’t care, but I scan the parking lot outside North Wing every time I pass, searching for his car.
God, I miss himso much. I miss the heat of his body, his scent, the way he watched me every time he pulled back from a kiss to catch his breath.
On Wednesday evening, I come back from the gym andfind my brother waiting on my bed. He doesn’t look so hot with dark bruises under his eyes and a three-day stubble.
“Which part ofleave me alonedon’t you understand?” I ask, opening my closet. “Leave, Hyde.”
“Millie—”
“What?” I snap, spinning to face him, a pair of leggings and a jumper in hand. “I tried avoiding Dash and Noah, but they wouldn’t let me ghost them.”
“I know. They’ve made it quite clear.” He inhales a deep breath like he’s bracing for something unpleasant. “Have you heard from Creed?”
My mouth falls open, eyebrows scrunching. I have half a mind to grab his arm and shove him out the door, but there’s something so sad in his eyes that I just shake my head.
“Yeah, me neither,” he sighs, tearing off his cuticles. “I think I’m losing my best friend, Millie.”
He sounds broken, torn to pieces, and it guts me more than I’d like. I’m supposed to be furious, but anger slips away.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to come between you. I wasn’t trying to take anything from you, Hyde. He just... he made me feel whole for a little while.”
And then he kissed that girl.
Hyde doesn’t answer, staring at the floor as if it might tell him what to do. When he lifts his head, his eyes are sharper, but no less sad.
“You haven’t smiled in two days,” he says out of the blue.
What’s there to smile about when two men I care about most don’t want me?
“You haven’t seen much of me the past two days.” Keeping my voice flat takes effort while my throat’s tightening. “I’m tired and it’s late, Hyde. Please go.”
He looks at me like he wants to add something, but he grits his teeth, gets up, and closes the door behind him.
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