Page 110 of Love Overboard
There was a knock at the cabin door, and Eli’s deep greeting on the other side.
I stood, checking my reflection one more time in the mirror before I pulled Leah up and into a hug. Her words battled to break through the walls I’d built up around my heart in the two days since Finn had his hands on me, but my forces stood strong. I wanted so badly to play into herwhat ifs, but when it came to Finn, I’d had enough pain to last a lifetime.
“Our story might’ve been cut short,” I said softly. “But the ending would’ve been the same no matter how long it dragged out.”
I released her, smoothing the hem of my dress with a steady breath.
“So I’m done rereading it,” I added with a small smile. “Time to write something new.”
And with that, I opened the door and let Eli take my hand.
I wished I was drunk.
It would have been so easy to make my wish come true. If I would have ordered a wine with my dinner when Eli ordered his beer, or if I would have taken him up on the shot he suggested we take before we joined the others, or if I would have slammed back a double the moment we got to the bar.
But I didn’t do any of that.
No matter how much I craved the numbness I knew alcohol would bring me, I resisted it. I was wary of the stuff since that night at the beach. Had I been sober, surely I wouldn’t have done what I’d done with Finn. That was what I’d convinced myself. And besides, I had wanted to be clearheaded for my date with Eli — I wanted to be in tune with every emotion so I knew for sure how I felt.
Well, my plan worked.
And I felt absolutely nothing.
Okay, that wasn’t exactly true — it was nice going on the date with Eli. He was gorgeous and funny, and the conversation flowed easily between us. But there wasn’t a spark in sight, not even a little tingle when he kissed me after dinner. He’d smiled against my mouth and swept my hair back and kissed me with the mouth of an expert, and I’d smiled and giggled and willed myself to feel something.
I only wanted to run.
Now, we were back with the group at the club. It was the same one from our first night out, the liveliest we’d found all season, and everyone was letting loose.
Gisella was happily draped over Finn at the bar, her eyes glossy and smile wide as she talked to Bernard, who sat next to Finn. Finn seemed lost in space, his eyes half-focused on one of the televisions broadcasting sports highlights. If I didn’t know better, I’d say it looked like he was drinking water, but it must have been vodka. I would have asked him, if it were any other night.
As it was, I did my best not to look at him or wonder anything about him.
Palmer was next to me at the other end of the bar. I’d been trying to kick up a conversation with him, but he was short with every answer. He seemed pissed off, but I couldn’t figure outwhy. The way he glared at Gisella made me wonder if maybe she’d fallen short on her duties on deck. God knew I understood that feeling all too well after our second charter.
Leah, Cameron, and Eli were on the dance floor, the first two tangled up in one another while Eli danced by himself like it didn’t bother him one bit. He kept finding my gaze and nodding for me to join him, but I’d just shake my head or laugh him off. The last thing I felt like doing was dancing.
And yet… I decided maybe I should.
So what, I didn’t feel a connection right away? Eli was nice. He was putting in the effort. Maybe it would be a slow burn with us. Not every romance felt as explosive and all-consuming as the one I had with Finn did. In fact, I’d bet that most stable relationships felt the opposite: warm instead of hot, comfortable instead of unpredictable, safe instead of adventurous.
Maybe I just needed to give Eli a chance.
Once again, I found myself wishing to be drunk, but I somehow found courage despite being sober and made my way to the dance floor.
Eli threw his hands up in victory. “There she is!” He let out a loud wolf whistle that had Leah laughing and Cameron jumping in with a few hollers of his own.
My cheeks were on fire by the time I made it to them, and I realized just how much of a crutch alcohol was for me in that moment. Because where I was never shy dancing when I had liquor running through my veins, I found everything awkward about my current attempt. My limbs felt stiff. The beat pulsed around me, but I couldn’t quite find the rhythm.
Fortunately, I didn’t have to do it alone.
I barely put my hands in the air and moved my hips before Eli was there, pulling me into him. His grin took up his entire face, mischievous and unbothered, and then his hands were on my waist, warm and confident and touching me like the simplekiss we’d shared after dinner was the checkered flag for him to start the race. His leg slid between mine, thigh pressing just enough to jolt my senses, and he rocked us to the rhythm like we’d been dancing together for years.
He didn’t give me a chance to think. He just moved — wild and smooth, grinning, spinning me in a circle before yanking me back against him. My laughter came easy then, surprising me with how genuine it felt, howeasyit felt. His arm wrapped around my middle, holding me flush to his chest as we moved together in time with the bass that thudded like a second heartbeat.
And still, I felt nothing past a friendly affection.
Eli was giving it his all — smiling, touching, moving with me like we were the only two people in the club. And I was trying.God, I was trying. I looped my arms around his neck, let him tug me closer, let my body lean into his.
