Page 74 of Love Overboard
There was no way to make the question sound casual, no way to stop my throat from closing in around the words as they escaped.
Finn took the pan I’d just rinsed and began to dry it, his eyes skirting up to me before he focused on what he was doing. “You really want to know that?”
No.
Yes.
I don’t fucking know, Finn.
I didn’t trust myself to try to answer. After a moment, he took away the choice.
“She was there when everything happened,” he said. “Gi was in Dublin for the offseason the first time I met her, working at a hotel not too far from where the restaurant was. She came in one night for dinner with some of the other employees and we struck up a conversation when I checked on their table. After that, she became a regular, most times coming in to eat by herself. She’d come late, usually our last seating of the night, so sometimes I’d sit with her when I was finished cooking and we just… became friends.”
Acid burned my throat.
Why thefuckdid I ask?
“I admit I was still… hung up,” he said, his eyes darting to mine only briefly before they were back on the dishes he was drying. “And I guess part of me thought I needed to start moving on somehow. I thought maybe she was the way.”
Our hands brushed when I handed him a large knife, his fingers wrapping around mine on the handle before I pulled away with my neck burning.
“She left for another charter season, and when she came back, it was just in time to watch everything go to shite.” Finn finished drying the last of the dishes and wiped his hands on a towel before throwing it over his shoulder. “She was there for me.”
He left it at that, letting me fill in the gaps. I wished I’d never asked and then again, I felt better for having the knowledge.
“I’m glad you have her,” I said, and even though the words felt like nails being driven into my tongue, I meant them.
He deserved to be happy.
He deserved to have someone reliable by his side.
“You said she helped you see the restaurant was a mistake,” I reminded him. “What does that mean?”
Finn sighed. “Just means she saw better than I did what a waste of time it all was. She told me I didn’t need the stress of a business like that when I could make a killing as a private chef, whether it be on yachts or for a wealthy family somewhere.” He shrugged. “I knew she was right. I just… it’s hard to hear, I guess.”
“It wasn’t a waste of time,” I said softly. “And if you ever wanted to try again, that wouldn’t be a waste, either. It’s never a waste to pursue your dreams.”
Again, one of his shoulders hitched up, but he didn’t comment. Instead, he changed the subject.
“What about you?” he asked, letting out a long breath as he folded his arms and leaned a hip against the sink. “You ever…”
“No,” I said before he could even finish the thought. I tried to smile, but my lips only curled a moment before they fell again. Finn’s eyes were hard on mine, but I didn’t waver, and something about that quiet galley in the middle of the night made me brave. “I’ve kissed a few boys, cuddled after a crew night out, maybe, but… never anything serious.” I shrugged. “I think my heart still belongs to a chef on a boat in Greece.”
I whispered the words, but they struck Finn hard. I watched as his breathing intensified, his eyes flicking between mine.
“Firefly…”
“I’m sorry, Finn,” I interrupted, and I hated how my eyes flooded with tears, but I didn’t bat them away.
I was so good at running from emotions, so used to that being my modus operandi. But I wanted to feel all of it tonight. I wanted to surrender.
“I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you. I’m sorry I assumed the worst. I’m sorry I didn’t even consider going with you, in any capacity. You regret getting into business with Ronan? Well, I regret the night I walked away from us.”
His brows pinched together as he stepped into my space. He reached out his hand, thumb catching a tear my blink had set free. I closed my eyes and leaned into the touch as my heart throbbed in my chest.
I wanted to stay there. I wanted to bask in what it felt like to have his hands on me again. I wanted to breathe him in, sink into him like a warm bed after a long shift.
My body betrayed me, leaning just a fraction closer before my brain caught up and yanked me back.
