Page 17 of Redemption
With his head buried in my hair, his body trembles as he inhales a sharp breath. “It was worth everything. Everything. A dream come to life. How could I deserve this? How is this happening to me?”
His uncertainty shocks me more than his tears. “Of course you deserve this. She’s your mother. She loves you. You deserve this more than anyone.”
“How? After all that I’ve done, how could God give me such a gift? After you, after Rory … how is it that I deserve so much good after everything I’ve done?”
It’s a side of my husband I’ve never seen before. In that moment, the enormous weight of the burden of being the man called Lachlan Mount lands on me. I realize that even though I know him better than any living human, I don’t know him as well as I thought I did. I don’t live with his actions haunting me. I don’t see or hear what goes on in his mind. I don’t know what he’s done that he’s grappling with, but I can imagine a hint of the darkness in which he has lived. It’s a darkness I’ve learned to accept. After all, our relationship didn’t exactly start with him asking me out on a date.
No. He decided he wanted to own me, and he went about making that a reality. He didn’t exactly consult me about what I wanted. It was only later that I fell in love with him—after I was allowed to see his heart.
That’s when the truth dawns on me.
Unconditional love. That’s the only reason I have what I have in my life. That’s the only way I could forgive him and move forward after how things started between us. I no longer care about how we became us, because his actions gave me everything that matters most to me in this world.
That’s what he experienced tonight. Unconditional love. The unconditional love of a mother.
It wouldn’t matter what Aurora did or said—she could be a serial killer on death row, and I would still love her. That’s the unconditional love of a mother. That’s the only force strong enough to rock my husband to his core. The tears, trembling, and vulnerability from the strongest man I’ve ever met make perfect sense.
Only love could do this to Lachlan Mount.
“I’m so glad you went. I’m so glad you met her.”
“Me too.” He speaks into my hair with a shaky breath. “Me too.”
I lose track of time as he holds me on the edge of the bed with Aurora curling and snuggling against us. Her little body is completely relaxed, as though she has never experienced a single moment of fear or terror, which is no longer the truth.
But she knows love, I remind myself. That’s all she’ll ever know for the rest of her life. Nothing but love will ever touch her again.
Like tumblers on a vault clicking into place, pieces of why my husband is the way he is snap into my mind. He never knew love as a child. He was at the mercy of a merciless system. Of course he became who he became. He never had a chance to become anything else.
A haunting question floats into my mind. What would Aurora have become if we hadn’t gotten her back so quickly?
I can’t bear to think about the answer, but I also can’t stop my mind from forming parallels between her kidnapping and her father’s. Eerie, to say the least.
“What are we going to do now?” The whispered question slips from my lips.
Lachlan’s head lifts, and he meets my gaze from beneath his tousled black hair. “Tomorrow, I bury V.”
The mention of losing V sends a dagger of grief ripping through my heart. “You mean, we bury him.”
Lachlan’s hand finds my face, and his thumb skates over my cheek. “Don’t fight me on this, Hellion. I can’t risk you and Rory. I need you to stay here. Where I know you’re safe.”
“How can you ask me to miss his funeral?” My objection comes instantly. “That’s not fair. I?—”
“I’m not asking. I’m telling you. I can’t guarantee your safety. You’re not going, Keira.”
I open my mouth to protest further, but his thumb slides over my lips.
“You’re not going. We can fight about it if you want, but it’ll have to be tomorrow. I don’t have it in me right now.”
His quiet, honest reply silences anything else I planned to say on the matter. I release a breath and press my forehead against his shoulder.
“What is happening to our life? What is happening?”
His arms lock around me as a tremor rips through his body. “It’s falling apart. Falling the fuck apart. I’m so sorry. I’ve failed you. I’ve failed on every level—as a husband, as a father, as a protector, as?—”
I yank my head back and cover his lips with my fingers as I pierce him with my gaze. “Stop it. Stop it right now. You didn’t fail. Life happened. And now …” I trail off.
“And now, what?” he asks through my fingers.
