Page 54 of Creole Kingpin
Thirty-Three
Magnolia
Ilock myself in the bathroom and drop onto the closed toilet seat while the water for the shower heats up.Goddamn it, if I’m going to cry, it’s going to be where I can deny those tears ever fell.
Then after I’m done, I’m going to put myself back together one piece at a time—armor and war paint included—so I remember exactly who I am.
Magnolia Marie Maison.
No man owns me. No man controls me.
I do what the hell I want, when I want. Things work the wayIwant them to work.
And what if that’s exactly what Moses wants?Ho-It-All pops into my head for another ill-timed thought.
“Shut the fuck up,” I tell the empty room. “It doesn’t matter what the man wants. He can’t just show up and decide I belong to him. I belong tome.”
And he wants to belong to you too.
“Ugh!” I let out a screech of frustration and strip before climbing into the shower, where hopefully the spray can drive out the stupid voice that has suddenly decided it’s a fan of Moses Gaspard. Well, too fucking bad.
However, the voice has helped steer me away from enough trouble over the years that I don’t want to discount it completely, but it also needs a reality check.
Moses is crazy. All the shit he said might sound pretty, but nothing can take away the fact that he waited fifteen damn years to come back and say any of it.
Fifteen. Years. He left mealone.
He doesn’t get a pass because he’s the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen, and what we had in those two weeks so long ago was close to a perfect fantasy. It doesn’t matter.
I’ve got a life I’ve worked my ass off to build, and even if it doesn’t always go according to plan, it’smine.I’m supposed to just magically trust him and whatever he has planned?
I don’t think so.
Then how do you explain how you feel?Ho-It-All asks in a silky tone.You really think you can resist him? It’s not like you’re going to the club to play with Rhodes.
I freeze for a beat, water spraying me in the face as I push open the door of the shower and reach for my phone on the counter.
Screw Ho-It-All. She doesn’t know everything. Because maybe Iamgoing to play with Rhodes.
Leaving puddles everywhere, I blink the water out of my eyes and type out a quick message.
Magnolia: Are you still in town? I might want to play tonight.
Dropping my phone on the counter, I seal myself back in the shower, hoping the spray drumming against my head will somehow provide answers, or at least a little fucking relief.
I can stay here and sit on my pitiful air mattress all night thinking about Moses, or I can go to the club and put him out of my mind for a few hours.
It’s easy to lose myself with Rhodes. And there’s a bonus to visiting the club tonight.
I tap my fingers along the side of my naked thigh as I consider it. A feline smile tugs at the corners of my mouth. If I go ... there’s no way in hell Moses won’t find out. Maybe it’ll drive him crazy for a while, and he’ll know what it’s like to wonder what I’m doing, the same as I’ve done for years thinking about him.
Don’t do it, Mags. You know better than to play with fire ...
But I don’t listen to Ho-It-All. I’m too busy thinking about how brilliant I am. If I wanted one easy way to show Moses he doesn’t control me, this is it.
And he’ll never know what happened, because he can’t get inside.
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