Page 50 of House of Scarlett
I stare blankly at the laptop as I complete a small corner of the puzzle that is Gabriel Legend. The fact that he has to be so guarded sends a slice of pain through me.
But aren’t you the same way?It’s that pesky voice in my head, and she’s right.
I am guarded with people who I think are trying to get close only because they want something from me. I keep my tribe at minimum capacity because my mother taught me from a young age that I have things others want and are willing to behave unfairly to get ... and I’ve been burned more than once before.
It’s a harsh lesson, but one that seems he and I shared in learning.
“Scarlett?”
Gabriel’s voice brings me back to the present and out of my head.
“Sorry, I was off on a tangent.” I lift my eyes to his. “I get lost in my head sometimes. Not daydreaming, just ... thinking.”
Instead of nodding and moving on, he does something that surprises me. He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and peels off a stack of twenties and sets it in the middle of the table.
“What is that for?”
“I don’t have a penny, which is fine, because your thoughts are worth a hell of a lot more.”
After blinking at the stack, I look back at him and stare in wonder. “You want to know what I’m thinking about?”
That new ease in his features, the one that lets the corners of his mouth rise into an almost-smile, slays me. “Of course. You’re the most fascinating woman I’ve ever met.”
It’s a miracle I don’t liquify right there on the chair. Instead, heat starts at my chest, and I can almost pinpoint my spreading blush. With a smile stretching my mouth, I press my lips together.
Finally, I say, “No one’s ever asked me about my tangents, not since my mom.”
“Their loss. You gonna tell me what made you look like you wanted to punch someone and then get so sad?”
Gathering my courage, I nod. “I was thinking that it sucks that you don’t have many people who will do you favors without strings attached. Then I realized I keep my inner circle small too, because my mom taught me young that people would try to take advantage of me, and I couldn’t trust everyone.”
“Some things shouldn’t be the way they are, but that’s life. Anything else?”
“I was thinking that I’d be willing to bet money that you’re extremely loyal, and that’s why you’re guarded when it comes to getting close to new people. That kind of loyalty isn’t something you can spread all over town.”
He leans back in the chair and rocks his square jaw before replying. “Small circle means less exposure. It’s about risk and survival.”
“I hate that you have to worry about survival.” The thought comes out so quickly, that I don’t have a chance to reflect on how entitled and privileged it sounds until after it hangs between us.
“Not everyone grows up in an ivory tower, ladybug, but that’s life. That’s the way it has to be. If it were fair, it’d be the most boring fucking experience ever.”
I couldn’t agree more with him. “I’ve never heard someone put it that way.”
“Probably because I’m not a philosopher, and it’s been a day or so since I’ve slept.”
I can practically feel my eyes bug out at his statement, and guilt rushes in. “You stayed up all night for me. You should go home. Go to bed.Sleep.”
He sits up and leans his elbows on the table. “I’m used to it. Besides, I’d rather be here making sure you’ve got what you need, than at home trying to sleep while Bump plays video games way too loud on the other side of the wall.”
“Where do you and Bump live? I just realized I never asked. I’m such an asshole.” I drop my head into my palm and face him.
Gabriel reaches out and uses his fingers to lift my chin. “You’re not an asshole. Trust me. We haven’t exactly done any of this the normal way. Besides, we live in Jersey. Not much to talk about.” He points one long finger at the screen in front of us. “You really think you can get this laptop to work? Because I’ve downloaded this spreadsheet a dozen times, and it keeps trying to open some weird program I don’t know anything about.”
Taking the hint that he doesn’t like talking about himself much, yet thankful for the glimpse into his life, I turn my attention to the laptop and crack my knuckles for effect. I’ve never used my computer skills to impress anyone, but I’m ready to rock it now.
“Of course I can. Give me a few minutes.”
Thirty
