Page 48 of Real Good Love
“I’ve never—”
“Had a decent orgasm? Just give me a few more weeks, and my company will be able to sell you a product to fix that.”
Now it’s not just Emmy gasping for air like a fish, because I hear the same noise coming from behind me as well. I turn in a circle, my arms flung wide, and pitch my voice so no one misses what I have to say.
“That’s right, ladies. I like dick. Lots of dick. Luckily for me, I’m getting the good dick. But even more luckily for you, I can make sure you get the good dick too. Orgasms for everyone!”
A slow clap starts, and my eyes cut to the door where Julianne stands.
“Oh. My. God. That was fucking priceless.”
“You can take your boxes, but we don’t need any of your disgraceful things here.” Emmy spins and heads for the back.
I make a move to follow her, but pause when another round of slow clapping starts. I turn back to see six of the women in the group of retirees standing.
“Don’t listen to her, honey. We want the good dick too,” one says.
“I’ll take two of everything you’ve got, if they work. My sister Agnes will want them for sure.”
All of a sudden, more women are leaving the table and coming toward me with questions about what I’ve got in my boxes that can help their boxes.
Julianne joins the crowd, but can’t stop laughing.
This day is looking up. Maybe, just maybe, I’m not too scandalous for the women of Gold Haven.
* * *
When I leave Home Cookin’, Julianne hefts one box, remarking that two boxes of dicks are too much for any woman to handle, and helps me carry it to my car.
“I honestly don’t know where I found my entertainment before you came to town,” she says. “Seriously, that was the best speech I’ve heard anyone give. I think you should run for mayor. You’d win by a landslide because our female population vastly outnumbers the male. Plus, with a slogan likeorgasms for everyone, you really can’t go wrong.”
“Stop it. Jesus. Logan is going to be hearing about this before he even gets home, I’m sure.”
“Probably, but I can’t imagine he’s going to have a lot to say because you made sure to tell everyone that you’re getting the good dick.”
I shift the box to my hip as we reach my rental car to dig the keys out of my pocket and pop the trunk. “True. I did brag about him. Because he does have the best dick. If I weren’t so greedy about keeping it all to myself, I’d make a mold of it to base my next product line on. But there’s no way in hell I’m sharing his dick with the world, so that won’t be happening.”
“That’s just selfish, but then again, I can’t blame you,” Julianne says. “Damn, I wish I’d gotten that little speech of yours on video. It was seriously epic.” She sets the box in the trunk, and I shove the second one in next to it.
I flip open the top of the one that’s open.Thank you very much, Emmy. I pull out a beautifully packaged vibrator and hand it to Julianne. “Try it. See how you like it.”
Her eyes widen and she claps her hands together like it’s Christmas. “Are you serious? I wanted one, but I didn’t want to ask. I was about to lose the battle and ask anyway.”
“If you tried to leave without one, I would’ve just shoved it at you anyway. You can be my spokesperson.”
“Fuck yes, I can. If they’re as awesome as you say, I want to be an authorized distributor. This would be the best addition to the tools my shop sells since that killer flat iron I brought in last year.”
I dig through the box and pull out another package. “Here. Take this one too. Tell me which one you like best.”
She hugs both to her chest. “Seriously, you might be the best thing to happen to this town since Logan came back. Don’t let Emmy Harris or that bitch Tricia run you out of here. Gold Haven needs you.”
With those words, she strolls back toward her hair salon, and through the window, I see her hold up both boxes. A moment later, the four women inside start clapping. Julianne looks back at me through the front window and winks.
Maybe I do belong here.
Chapter 25
Logan
