Page 41 of Love What's Left
“That was flirting?”
“The m-muscle flex and . . . smile and . . .” She trails off, then rolls her lips inward. Her color darkening, she thrusts the brush in my direction. The moment it’s in my hand, she abruptly gives me her back. “Please.”
Still grinning, I watch her every move, searching for signs that she’s remembered me, but she keeps her face turned away and her hands tight in her lap. And my smile fades.
After breakfast, my cautious optimism turns to reluctant acceptance when she makes a shooing motion with her hands and says, “Go. Work. Don’t . . . h-hover.”
Two hours later, I glance up from my computer and suppress a moan when Sydney, her hair falling over her shoulders in two French braids, joins me in the library.
The last time she walked into this room wearing braids like that, she dropped to her knees, and I wrapped them around my fists while she—
Stop.I shift in my seat to hide the immediate semi that pushes behind my zipper. Intrusive memories of our past sex life aren’t helpful.
If I’d known how badly those braids would kick me in the balls, I’d have figured out something else for her hair. Like a nun’s habit.
Nope. That wouldn’t work either. It just makes me picture role-play.
She comes to a stop within about six feet of me, then stalls, looking lost. What am I meant to do here? Welcome her into a room in her own home? Won’t that make her feel like she’s in someone else’s house?
Another five heartbeats of my indecision and her silence pass. I have to say something. “Do you need the computer?”
She shakes her head.
“I can transfer the latest reports from the Nest & Wing Foundation to the tablet, if you’d like to see them. It’s a charity you and I started about a year ago.”
She moves closer, her brow furrowed lightly. “What kind of charity?”
“The tagline is ‘Safety to grow. Support to fly.’ It’s a program designed to bridge the gaps for kids aging out of the foster system so they’re not left on their own at eighteen. It provides homes, job training or education, transportation, health insurance . . . basically, the kinds of things kids in traditional families get from their parents when they ease into adulthood. When they transition to independence, it’s a family environment to come home to for weekends or a home-cooked meal or holidays. Someone on call to talk to about anything from what to do if your engine light comes on to an enthusiastic ear to listen to good news about a promotion. We encourage and give them guidance on ways to create healthy support systems in their lives.”
“An emergency contact?”
Concerned by her odd intensity, I reach for her hips to pull her onto my lap before my brain catches up. Abruptly, I drop my arms before I accidentally paw her. “Yes. There’s an emergency contact system in place. There’s no aging out of it. They have it as long as they need it.”
She stands stock-still, barely blinking.
“Sydney? What’s wrong?” I told her about the charity because it usually lights her up. She can talk about it for hours. It was one of her conditions, front and center on our prenup, along with keeping her own apartment.
I expected learning about it to delight her, not devastate her.
She shakes her head but shows no sign of being interested in explaining what’s upset her. I snag some Kleenex from the box on the desk and stand, offering them. She takes the tissues and does something that, prior to her captivity, I’d never seen her do. Face red and nose running, she cries her heart out.
Desperate to offer comfort, I lift a hand. “Can I hold you?”
She shakes her head.
“I’m sorry. I thought hearing about Nest & Wing would make you happy.”
“I—” She chokes then sniffles. “—am happy.”
“I can tell,” I say with gentle sarcasm.
“Did you know me . . . when I aged out?”
“I didn’t meet you until after you graduated from college.”
“I got accepted, though, with a s-sc—” Her face tightens in frustration as the word fights with her mouth. “I had money to pay?”
How had we done all of this for other people, without me thinking about what it meant for her? That she was healing herself by helping others. “Yes, you had a full-ride scholarship.”
