Page 6 of Hunter's Hidden Camera
She’s never brought up the subject of sex before now, and of course neither have I. But I knew this day would eventually come.
“I want to lose my virginity,” she whispers. “And it’s time. And I want it to be with you.”
I could bring up religion and tell her that I don’t believe sex before marriage is okay, but she knows how I don’t take going to church all that seriously, how I go because my parents force me.
“I’m not ready” is all I manage to come up with.
Emma tilts her head downward. “Why not?”
I’ll just answer a question with more questions. “Why do you want to have sex all of a sudden? What’s the urgency?”
Emma looks me in the eyes. She says, her voice trembling, vulnerable, “I feel . . . It seems like you’re losing interest in me. Like you’re not that into me.”
“That’s not true,” I lie.
“And I think it’s because we haven’t had sex. I know you think about it. All boys do. So if that’s what you want, if that’s what it takes, then let’s do it.”
“I think what we have now is good,” I lie again. God, I feel awful.
“Are youstill into me?”
“Yes.”
“Then I don’t understand. Whywouldn’tyou want to have sex with me? Are you not . . . attracted to me anymore? Or . . . were you ever?”
The depth of Emma’s insecurity crushes me. I hate seeing her like this. I mean, by all objective standards, she’s beautiful. She’salso intelligent, classy, nice. If I weren’t with her, there’d be a line of guys just waiting to take her out.
I look at her now, and she seems so fragile, like she would shatter if I touch her.
All of a sudden I just start talking, and I don’t know where all this is coming from: “Of course I’m attracted to you. You’re so beautiful. I’ve been wanting to have sex with you since we first started going out. But I didn’t want to rush you. Because I love you so much.”
Goddamn it! Did I just tell her I love her?! Why did I do that?!
Emma’s face shifts from worried to surprised and delighted. “I love you too!”
She wraps her arms around me and hugs me tight.
I hug her back because I feel like that’s the only option at this point.
“So let’s do it. Tonight. Okay?” Emma is beaming. Her mood is entirely the opposite of how she was when this conversation began.
The school bell rings. I’m already late. I can picture Mrs. Mortimer’s red face exploding in front of me.
“Okay,” I say. “Tonight. Let’s do it.”
Emma kisses me on the lips. “I have to get to class. See you at lunch.”
She runs out of the stairwell, leaving me alone.
I feel like crap. But I bet it’ll feel even worse when I’m sticking my dick where it doesn’t belong.
5
Business
It’s lunchtime, and I’m back in the restroom. It’s empty except for me. I’m in the far stall, working on my laptop, my Beats headphones wrapped around my head. I texted Emma a few minutes ago and told her that I had to study for a test and that I would catch up with her at the end of lunch. She expressed her disappointment because she thought we would spend the entire lunch hour talking about the sex we’re supposed to have tonight.
I’m not studying of course. Yes, I’m trying to avoid Emma right now, but I’m also actually working. I have a backlog of dozens of videos that I haven’t gotten around to editing yet. And if I want to make some money, I need to get this done.
