Page 14 of Hunter's Hidden Camera
Or maybe—just maybe—I should just come out of the closet, this stupid closet, right here and now. It’s the most direct way to stop this crazy night.
But I’m not ready. Will I ever be ready?
Why am I so scared? What am I afraid of?
Dear God, why did you make me this way? And dear God, if youdidmake me this way, why did you make me so frightened of being who I really am on the inside?
Emma grabs my still-hard dick. “I knew you would be into this. Blanca is so full of shit.”
“What?” I ask. “What about Blanca?”
Emma starts laughing. “Blanca thinks she has like gaydar or something. She keeps telling me you’re gay. She’s an idiot.”
Immediate reflex forces this out of me: “I’m not gay!” It’s maybe a little bit too loud.
“Okay, Hunter, calm down. Jesus. That’s what I told her.”
Fuck Blanca. I wonder who else talks behind my back. I wonder what rumors they’re spreading. I wonder what lies they’re telling.
Okay, okay, what they think about me might be the truth. But this truth,mytruth, it belongs tome. I’ll tell it when I want to tell it. And if I never want to tell it, then that’s my choice. No one else’s.
Maybe I’m being punished. I’ve always known that recording Nash and posting his jerk-off videos is wrong. Maybe this is justified karma for what I’ve done. I violatehisprivacy,myprivacy gets violated in return.
Dear God, I told you: I’m going to remove the camera, take down my brother’s videos, repent, repent, repent. Just don’t exposemysecret just yet. I need more time to figure it out. Please. Dear God,please.
“I know you’re not gay,” says Emma. “That would be gross.”
Wait a minute. What? What does she mean by that? Like, it’s gross that I’ve been dating her, knowing that I’m gay? Or like, she finds gay people gross?
I’ve always thought that Emma would be accepting of me if I ever did come out, but now I’m not so sure. Her parents are evangelical Christians, super conservative, so I’m pretty sure they don’t like gays. But Emma is likeme—she only goes to church because her parents force herto. What doesshebelieve?
I decide to not ask for an explanation. Using this moment to ask her for her opinions about homosexuality would only raise red flags. I need more time. I need to keep on acting.
Emma, Blanca, Oscar, whoever else: they want proof that I’m straight? Well, having sex with Emma, making her feel things she’s never felt before, treating her like she’s my girl and I’m her guy: it’s all the proof I need. I’m about to give her the best night of her life.
As soon as we’re in my bedroom, Emma takes off her clothes. It’s like lightning fast. I mean, by the time I reach the bed, she’s already completely naked. I’ve never thought of her as someone this bold, this comfortable with her body.
She’s in amazing shape, and every straight guy at school would kill to be in the situation I’m in right now. I mean, her beautiful face, her firm breasts, her perfectly proportioned figure: she could really be a model.
Emma falls back onto the bed and looks at me seductively. She says, bluntly, “Fuck me.”
I’m kind of surprised once again by her directness.
I strip down. My penis, which was at full attention a few seconds ago, is starting to go down. Damn it. I’d better hurry this up before I completely lose it.
I crawl onto the bed until I’m hovering over Emma. She grabs the back of my head and pushes down until my lips touch hers. We make out, and the more we do the softer my dick gets.
I close my eyes as we continue to kiss. I think: Shawn Mendes, Oscar, Andrew, Victor, Liam. Nothing. Then: Nash, Nash, Nash. Okay, here we go, we’re back in business.
Let’s get this over with.
“Do you have a condom?” Emma asks.
I grab a condom package from my nightstand. (I stole it from my brother’s room.) I rip it open nervously. I unroll the condom onto my hard dick. (Thank God for that one assembly where that old woman put a condom on a banana.)
I reach down to guide my penis. I brush the head against her, exploring, searching, ready to penetrate, do the deed, and be done with it.
I can feel myself starting to lose my erection again. If I’m going to do this, I have to move fast.
