Page 79 of Demure
Fia shrugged. “It was sudden. I went to wake her up one morning, as we both still lived with our parents at the time, and she had faded into the next world sometime during the night.”
The air in the room was heavy; Fia’s despair a sour taste on Sierra’s tongue.
“Nothing was ever the same after that. My parents faded not long after, and after meeting Soar and he passed on, I found the only joy I had left in life was to be alone. Because at least when I’m alone, I can pretend that maybe there was some mistake and that she will walk through that door any moment, smiling at me over some secret.
“But when other Fae are around, and I see their sad looks pointed in my direction, the illusion is broken, and I know she isn’t with me anymore.”
Without thinking, Sierra put her hand on Fia’s shoulder, in an attempt to comfort her. “Loss is never easy, whether you have 80 years or 800 years.” Sierra hadn’t dealt with the loss of a twin, or anything close to that magnitude, but with the way her heart twisted in her chest, she was beginning to think she had somehow absorbed some of Aodhan’s empathetic power over the last couple of weeks. “And I don’t know how the Fae afterlife works, but many in the human world believe that when someone dies, they are able to watch from the other side as you continue to live, enjoying your life in spirit, as they experience peace in the next life.”
“Do you believe that?” Fia asked.
“I’m not sure,” she answered honestly. “I thought everything in this world had an answer, until a few years ago I learned that wasn’t the case. And ever since, I’ve been trying to come to terms with the fact that there may not be an answer for everything, and sometimes you may have to go about your life wondering.”
“I didn’t tell you all this to make you sad,” Fia replied. “I’m telling you so you can be prepared. Becoming nearly immortal may seem like a blessing; if Gaia grants it. But it’s also a curse allon its own, because if someone you love leaves this life before you, you must live with the grief even longer. And because all your friends and family are human, someone you love will undoubtedly leave this life before you.”
Sierra didn’t say anything more as Fia backed away from the window, leaving Sierra alone to watch the final fingers of light fade from the sky. Fia’s words had hit home, except Fia had forgotten one crucial detail.
Sierra had never really had any friends.
Later that evening, they sat by the fire, the silence between them having grown comfortable over the past few hours as both remained sequestered in their thoughts.
“Fia, can I ask you something?” Sierra didn’t take her eyes away from the flames.
“Yes.”
“Am I making a mistake?” Sierra tried to swallow past the lump in her throat, but even though she had been drinking Fia’s concoction all night, she found her throat suddenly parched.
“I can’t answer that.” Fia’s voice was even, a stark contrast to the wobbling Sierra felt on the inside. “Only you can decide which path is right for you. But if you are proceeding with the ritual, we should try the day after tomorrow. We shouldn’t waste time.”
Fia rose from the couch, walking away without a word, leaving Sierra alone with her thoughts.
The decision she was about to make was a fork in her life; she could feel it. If she went through with the ritual, her life was going to change drastically. Either she would walk away with a curse and then rush to figure out a way to stop whatever was going on in Conlan’s mind before he captured her again, or she would walk away a Fae and say goodbye to her human life forever to enjoy apossible future with Aodhan, whom she loved, but wasn’t exactly sure was her life partner just yet.
Sierra truly had no idea which to pick, and she wished Aodhan was here, but she also knew that he would likely try to talk her out of putting her life on the line. But it was her life, and Fia was right; she had to make this decision on her own.
But why did it have to be so hard?
Chapter Forty-Seven
As it turns out, Sierra’s decision was made for her later that night when Fia burst into her room holding a lantern, shining a dim orange glow that didn’t quite reach the corners of the room. Sierra felt a sense of déjà vu as she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and pulled the blanket up to her chest.
“Fia? What’s wrong?” Her voice was muddled with sleep.
“Something has changed. Conlan is coming now; I’m not adjusting the truth this time.”
These were the same words she had uttered a few nights before to convince Aodhan to leave. “Are you sure?” she asked.
“Yes. I don’t see Aodhan, but you need to prepare to start the ritual now.”
Sierra’s eyes were drawn to the window, where it was still pitch-black outside. She couldn’t even make out the trees from the inky blackness of the sky. “But…what if I’m not ready?”
“If you don’t go now. There won’t be another opportunity.” Fia pulled a red bundle from beneath her arm. “Wear this.”
Sierra knew better than to continue questioning Fia, and quickly rose from bed to pull the dress over her head. In her mind,she was silently running through the notes she had made the last few days. While she would have preferred one more day to truly flesh out what she was going to say, she knew there wasn’t time.
Last night, Sierra had gone to bed in a state of indecision as to whether she would go through the ritual or not. She had been torn between the permanence of it, versus the benefits. But it looked as though fate had made her decision for her. Something for which she was both grateful and slightly annoyed.
As the dress slid over her body, Sierra grimaced at the familiar feel. It was just like the dress she had worn in the dungeon, but the dim glow of the lantern revealed it was a darker color. Sensing her question, Fia answered, “It’s red.”
