Apple2004: How do you know? Were you there?
Luv247:No, but I know Sud likes girls. He used to date my friend in high school. And I’ve heard he and Mee Noi grew up together in the same house.
Environgirl:I was in the student center the day the picture was taken. Ant gave Sud a gift bag and he never even looked at it! It was still sitting on the table when he left.
That’s true. I wound up taking the bag home and Jess and I ate the cookies and chips inside it.
There are about a dozen or more comments about how swoon-worthy Sud is. I skim through those and spot my name again.
Pinksmile22:I’d given up on seeing Mee Noi on this site. He won’t let any of the Best Boys admins take his picture.
Artgirrl:They must have gotten lucky! (crying-while-laughing emoji) He’s so cute! I would go out with him in a second. (red heart emoji)
Pinksmile-22:Good luck—he seems to like books more than he likes girls.
Wayu-gayu:Maybe he likes boys! I HOPE SO!!! Too many straight boys on this page.
Tossing my phone to the bottom of the bed, I bury my head under my pillow.
“What are you doing?” Jess asks a moment later.
I peek out at him. He’s wearing white pajamas and drying his hair with a towel.
I sit up. “Did you read any of the comments under that picture of me and Sud?”
“I skimmed them. A lot of gushing about how cute you two are, as well as the usual stuff about Sud being perfect.” He nudges me. “I noticed a few girls saying they like you.”
“There was aguywho said I was cute!”
Jess blinks. “I didn’t know you liked guys.”
“I don’t mean that,” I say, my face going hot. “It’s just—why doanyof them like me? I get why they like Sud. He’s a football player and outgoing and goodlooking. But why me?”
“I guess some people like quiet, non-assuming dudes,” Jess says with a shrug. “And you’re not exactly ugly. My sister thinks you’re really cute.”
I’m processing that when my phone dings with a text notification from Sud.
Did you look at the comments on Best Boys? I told you people like you!
I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Bet you’re all rattled and pink in the face right now. Take a selfie and send it to me.
Fuck off.
Jess is back to working on his essay, but he’s turned the lights out, so it’s dim enough for me to sleep. So, I plug up my phone to the charger and climb under the covers. Only, I can’t sleep because I keep thinking about those comments.
When I try to imagine myself dating a girl, I just can’t. It doesn’t matter, since I really don’t want to date. I’m perfectly happy with my studies. But…imagining girls looking at me on the website freaks me out a little. And guys are doing it, too. Jess didn’t seem weirded out that I might like guys. I’ve actually never thought much about it. Some are pretty cute, I guess. I look at Jess, the light from his PC shining over his face,illuminating his features. He’s not ugly. I guess he might be called handsome…in a way.
My mind drifts to Sud. He’s definitely handsome. Objectively, of course. I’ve lived with him most of my life, so I’ve seen his every mood. I’ve seen him sick, excited, angry, in love…
Frowning, I push away those thoughts. Every time Sud got a girlfriend, I avoided him. I hated that stupid lovesick look he got on his face.
Ugh. I’m going to stop thinking about it because it’s weird.
Pulling Fuzzy into my arms, I hold him to my chest like I do every night when I go to sleep. Sud gave Fuzzy to me on my eighth birthday. My real name is Wichai—meaningtriumph—but my nickname, Mee Noi, meansLittle Bear. Sud is the only one who shortens it to justLittle. His given name is Sutthipong. It meansnoble purity. Somehow that fits just as well as his nickname does. Sud meansextremeorultimate, and he definitely loves going to the limit. He likes to try everything, no matter what. One time, when we were fifteen, he was invited to go bungee jumping with some friends. He was all for it, but the idea terrified me. Not just for me, but for Sud. What if the rope broke? The thought of losing him crippled me. I locked myself in my room for two days and wouldn’t come out. Finally, Sud climbed in through my window and forced me to tell him what was going on. And when I did, he cancelled his plans. I felt bad that he did. So bad, that I went to Pah about it. I still remember what he said.
Sud wouldn’t cancel his plans unless he was certain that’s what he wanted to do. To him, Mee Noi, you come first.