Page 59 of One Filthy Kiss

I don’t know how long we stand there like this in the foyer of Gio’s apartment, me sobbing, Gio soothing.

Eventually, the tears begin to subside, and the choking sobs diminish to the occasional shoulder-jerking sniff. They leave me exhausted, numb, wrung out, but as they fade, fear sneaks back in, gripping my heart and squeezing the life out of it.

I tear myself free from Gio’s embrace. “I have to go.”

“Not like this, Meggie.”

Gio is standing between me and the rest of the apartment, and I don’t know if it’s a deliberate stance, placing himself between me and Amber, or if he’s waiting to catch me when I collapse.

I shake my head. “I don’t know how else you want me to leave it. Amber’s father is out there. He?—”

“I know. Trust me, I know how you’re feeling right now, fiore.”

A twisted smile appears of its own accord, hovering at the corners of my mouth. “You have no idea how I’m feeling, Gio.Ididn’t lie toyou.”

He closes his eyes briefly. “I’m sorry, Meggie. I wish I could turn back the clock and start over but just consider how you’d have reacted if I’d told you that I was engaged to be married to a woman I don’t love. A woman I don’t even like. A woman I see a couple of times a year when our paths cross in Sicily.” He pauses. “It wouldn’t have changed me—I’m still that same person. But it would have altered your perception of me.”

I swallow, and it feels like there’s a boulder lodged inside my throat.

He’s right. What would I have done? Would I have believed him and fucked him anyway, or would I have insisted that he take me and Amber straight back to LA, knowing that I’d never see him again? The thought of walking out of here one final time makes me want to curl up into a ball and spend the rest of my life under a rock where it’s dark and damp, and all I have to worry about is stretching my legs.

I already know the answer.

“It’s too late, Gio.”

“Don’t say that.” He shakes his head and holds onto my hands like he can’t bear to let me go. “It’s never too late.”

“That’s just a motivational quote used by people trying to sell online courses.”

Gio smiles, and my heart rips open a little bit more.

“You don’t believe that, Meggie. You’re not that cynical person. You’re all that’s right in the world. You’re light and love and laughter.”

He’s saying all the right words, and I so desperately want to believe him. It would be so easy to stand on tiptoes, kiss his perfect lips, and tell him that I love him, but something inside me hardened when Lucia stepped out of the elevator and said the words, “I’m Lucia, Giovanni’s fiancée.”

If he could lie to me about something so important, what else has he lied about?

“I don’t feel like I’m any of those things, Gio.”

“I’m so sorry, Meggie. This is all my fault. Please let me make it up to you.”

“By proposing to me?”

“Actions speak louder than words.” He watches me with such innocent, naïve hope in his eyes that I almost forgive him.

Almost.

It’s too fresh, too raw, and right now, my skull feels too small for all the problems I need to resolve.

“I love you, Meggie. I’ll never stop loving you, and I’ll never stop trying to prove it to you. Ever.”

His phone rings, and I see the debate playing out behind his eyes. He’s obviously expecting an important call, but he’s in the middle of a declaration of love. Should he decide to answer the call, the moment will be ruined.

I make it easy for him. “You should get that.”

He drags his eyes away from me as he slides his cell phone from his pocket. He doesn’t speak. He turns his back and crossesthe room to peer out of the window at the city below where life is carrying on as normal. Regular people with regular problems like what to have for dinner, or what to wear on a first date, or how to stop a leaky faucet from dripping.

When he comes back, I know that it isn’t good news by the stormy flecks in his deep-brown eyes.