Page 33 of Salt in the Seas
The strained silence returned and Gaeren avoided looking at the X on Riveran’s forehead.
“If you do it,” Enla said, “Lenda will be cast as the spurned lover by a spoiled prince. Others will swoop in to rescue her.”
“Why don’t you want me to marry her?” Gaeren ground out. “Wouldn’t that be the best scenario?”
“You’ve never wanted to marry her.”
“But we’re bonded.” He shoved his palm at her, as if she hadn’t ever seen the mark plaguing his skin. “I may not love her, but I don’t want to hurt her. Not after watching—” He glanced at Riveran, but the damage was already done. The other man’s throat bobbed as he swallowed, and he stood, mumbling some excuse about needing to take care of personal matters.
Enla flinched as the door shut behind Riveran, and she closed her eyes. “It’s not the same, Gaeren.”
“What do you mean it’s not the same?” He leaned forward with a heated whisper. “Breaking bonds is always painful. It nearly killed you. I felt it when I tried to take your memories.”
She sighed. “I didn’t realize how much that stayed with you, but I suppose with the way you hold on to memories…”
He blinked and sat back. Was she saying it wouldn’t hurt him? That it wouldn’t hurt Lenda?
“I can’t know for sure, but I suspect that the pain of breaking a bond is directly related to the strength of the bond.” She grabbed his palm and traced the mark. “Yours even looks smaller than I remember. Like you’ve been ignoring it. You could let it fade over your entirelifetime, but neither one of you would feel free to move on unless you chose to break it. It would be a horrible existence. Free yourself. Free Lenda.”
She flipped over his other palm, and he winced as she took in the sight of his pink and white puckered skin: the mark that he’d used blood magic to brand Aeliana. It was something he’d done temporarily to save her. Even though they’d cut it out after Durriken took Mayvus, it was something he’d never be able to hide.
“I wondered which choice you’d make,” she whispered.
He tensed, waiting for her to berate him, to call him out on reaching new lows. He already expected his parents to disown him for it, but he’d hoped Enla might hear him out.
She traced the skin, her gaze losing focus again. “You know, if you can’t stomach the thought of cutting out your bond mark, maybe you should find a woman to help you break it the old-fashioned way.”
His mind reeled at the flip-flop of topics. “Break it the—” His face heated, and he pulled his hand away. “Stop sifting my future. We promised we wouldn’t use our magic to invade each other’s privacy.”
Her focus returned as she smiled and crossed her arms. “I wasn’t even using my magic. I was simply making a suggestion. If you were willing to do blood magic for this woman, maybe you’re willing to break a bond for her.” Her eyebrows rose so high that Gaeren responded the only way he knew how.
He smashed an entire pudding pie in her face.
CHAPTER 14
“I didn’t expectto find you here.” The quiet, almost faded, voice brought a smile to Gaeren’s face.
He turned to the Sungazer’s entrance to find Fernandus, their family’s ancient priest. The old man puttered at the edge of the room, adjusting a book here and moving a candle there. He was clearly allowing Gaeren the opportunity to finish worshiping while making himself available.
“I didn’t expect to find myself here either.” Gaeren supposed his time with Cyrus was rubbing off on him, but he wasn’t sure if that would please Fernandus, considering Cyrus worshiped the Stars. Not that Gaeren had ever sensed displeasure from the doting priest. Despite warning Gaeren and Enla of the Sun’s judgment, Fernandus had never been one to make them feel guilty for their actions, not even when he called them out on their wrong choices.
Gaeren stood and dusted off the knees of his trousers, which were clean because, unlike most Sungazers, theirs had polished floors and cushions for the royal family to be comfortable while worshiping.
“Those are the best times for worship. If you didn’t expect it, then the Sun likely led you here.” Fernandus smiled and tottered closer to Gaeren, holding out his hand, palm up. It was an older greeting that few priests still did, but it was exactly what Gaeren expected from the man.
He placed his hands in the priest’s and kneeled, allowing the priest to then bring his hands to Gaeren’s forehead for a blessing.
“May the Sun’s light give you guidance in whatever troubles you this morning. May its light dawn bright with understanding and peace. May you never lose its light. Even when it sleeps, may the Stars reflect its glory for your guidance.” The rumble of the priest’s voice swept over Gaeren, and the papery feel of his palms against Gaeren’s skin brought back hundreds of childhood memories.
He hadn’t always enjoyed their family’s times of worship, but Fernandus had always been a bright spot in the Sungazer. The old man had a way of challenging Gaeren to be better without making him feel so much pain over his mistakes. If his parents had had half of Fernandus’ compassion, their family dynamic might have been more tolerable.
Gaeren winced as Fernandus kneeled with him. The old man’s knees popped and a small groan escaped his lips. Surely the Sun would understand if the priest no longer kneeled at this stage of life. But even if the Sun understood, Gaeren knew Fernandus would never approach the Sun with anything less than what was expected of a priest.
“I’m meeting with my parents this morning,” Gaeren said. Fernandus hadn’t asked what troubled him, but it was the way their conversations went, something he’d always taken for granted.
The old man made a clucking noise on the roof of his mouth. “Sometimes those we love are the hardest to speak the plain truth to.”
Gaeren frowned, unsure he could call what he felt for his parents “love,” but figured it wasn’t worth mincing words during the little time he had with Fernandus. “I don’t expect the conversation to go well,” Gaeren admitted. “They’ll want me to settle down as throne warden.”
