Page 154 of Salt in the Seas
One of Orra’s favorite phrases came to mind, making Gaeren choke out a laugh. “There are a number of reasons. Nothing is ever just one thing.”
Sylmar scowled. “Then name at least one.”
“My sister told me to.”
This answer made Sylmar pause, a strange reward for Gaeren in the midst of his pain. “Why would your sister suggest such a thing?”
Gaeren tried to shrug, then winced as the room spun. “I’ve stopped expecting reasons from her. Her reasons are always good—they’rebased on what she sees in the future. Or at least, they always were. She’s been confused lately.”
The memory of her confusion left him uneasy. He’d never actually checked in with Lenda to verify that she agreed with Enla. What if Enla’s request that he break the bond had stemmed from her confusion? What if he’d done exactly what Enla hadn’t wanted him to do because she feared it enough that she brought it into reality?
Sylmar’s scoff brought him back to the present.
“What did Aeliana say when you asked her?” Gaeren asked.
Sylmar’s eyes narrowed as he contemplated the question. “She said it was to free Lukai.”
The pain in Gaeren’s chest intensified, even though it was the answer he’d expected. It wasn’t like Aeliana was going to declare love for him to Sylmar, of all people.
“You realize her mother put that in place for her protection?” Sylmar asked. “That you removed one of magic’s deepest forms of protection just to satisfy youthful lust?”
Gaeren rolled his eyes even as the words hammered the guilt more in his mind. Clearly rumors had spread about how the bonds had been broken. “Youthful lust wouldn’t be enough to break a bond. Besides, her mother also sent her across the barrier for her protection, and look how well that turned out.”
Sylmar gave his standard grunt, which made Gaeren even more certain there was no counterargument. The bond had been hurting Aeliana more than it had been protecting her. They’d done the right thing.
Gaeren closed his eyes and settled back against the pillow. For the first time since he’d broken his bond, he felt the steady and solid presence of hope unmarred by the guilt and pain he still carried. Freeing her from an unhealthy bond hadn’t been his motivation in breaking the bonds, but recognizing this truth eased the suffering of it.
Aeliana was now free to lean into the protection she’d garnered by her own willpower. The protection of friends who cared for her. The protection of a dragon who’d chosen to tether to her. The protection of a mother and father whose love surpassed any bond mark they might have placed on her as a child.
The bond mark had merely been a symbol of their love for her, and her tie to Lukai a dim reflection of it. She no longer needed that bond. And being free of it now freed her to choose another.
Gaeren had no illusions that it would be him, not after breaking their bonds. If the love he’d grown to feel for her felt tainted by his actions, her friendship with him might barely remain intact. How could she trust him to be faithful when he’d been willing to break his bond with Lenda? It made him no better than the man he’d once thought Riveran to be. All the ways he’d hated Riveran shifted into a self-hatred—a recognition that whatever love he’d felt for Aeliana would now be tainted by the truth that he was unworthy of it.
“People love rumors,” Sylmar said, the change in subject so jarring that Gaeren struggled to drag his thoughts out like boots stuck in mud. “Everyone has it in their head that you and Aeliana are in love. A ridiculous notion considering you were willing to kill her the night we attacked Mayvus’ fortress.”
Gaeren couldn’t stop his eyebrows from rising.
“Aeliana told me of your deal back at the fortress—how she asked you to kill her and how you found a way around it.” Sylmar’s voice held a hint of warning.
Gaeren shifted in the bed, attempting to sit up, but only landed with his head oddly angled against the wall behind him. “What does that have to do with anything?”
Sylmar leaned forward. “I know the way your family works. Your duty to your sister goes beyond any feelings.” He gestured toward Gaeren’s palm. “After all, you were willing to break a bond on her word alone.”
For the first time, Gaeren glanced at his left palm, at the fresh pink lines on his skin. They would eventually become white scars, ever-present reminders mirroring the scars on his right palm that were left from the brand he’d placed on Aeliana.
“I think it might be wise to let the rumors continue,” Sylmar said.
Gaeren couldn’t decide if his mind was too far gone from pain or if he wouldn’t understand Sylmar on a normal day. “I’m not following.”
Sylmar sat back and folded his arms over his chest, gripping his staff between his knees so it stayed upright. “If everyonecontinues talking as though you and Aeliana broke your bonds over feelings for each other, they won’t suspect you if you try to get closer to Aeliana. But I want you to get closer. There are things I need you to find out from her.”
The pain in Gaeren’s chest flared as something cold slithered through his gut, the warning bells going off in his head loud enough to blur his vision. “What are you talking about?”
Sylmar sighed, and for the first time, Gaeren saw a flash of remorse in the older man’s eyes. “Aeliana is like a daughter to me, but she is just as susceptible as Holm was. Maybe more so.” He hesitated, then leaned forward with a heated whisper. “Magic shouldn’t change. I thought maybe I was mistaken. She’s been an exception to so many rules. Her magic showed so young. It came through so strong when she started healing, especially once Marnok helped. Now she shows a fascinating aptitude for tuning in to memories. My fatherly pride overrode my sense of danger and I agreed it was likely from Durriken. But now, after seeing what happened to Holm, I’ve had to reevaluate everything.”
“You think—you think she’s branded?” Gaeren asked.
“It’s a possibility we have to consider,” Sylmar said. “At this point, we have to assume everyone’s a possible threat. If we don’t, we’re already letting Mayvus win.” The paranoia leaking off Sylmar should have been laughable, but instead it was contagious.
