Page 53 of Salt in the Seas
CHAPTER 21
As the meeting broke up,Aeliana slipped out of the room, and Gaeren followed her. Her speed through the halls made him hesitate. It seemed like she wanted to be alone. But he also felt like she maybe shouldn’t be right now.
He kept his distance as she made her way to the bailey, noting with curiosity that the soldiers gave her the same customary bow many of the men on his ship would give him, two fingers to the forehead followed by a slight nod. And while Aeliana didn’t snub them, her pace sped up with each encounter, as if she grew more desperate to escape the attention.
To his irritation, the soldiers didn’t stop her from leaving the fortress walls even though it was nearly the moon’s reign, but they questioned him. The delay nearly made him lose track of her, but eventually he caught up to where she sat at the edge of the woods on a stump. She placed her face in her palms, then bent over her lap, her hair forming a curtain on either side, blocking her out from the world. He paused, wondering if he’d made a mistake, if this moment was too vulnerable for her to want him here.
He was about to leave when she let out something between a cry and a yell, then bent forward and grabbed a pinecone before chucking it just past his right ear. He ducked to avoid it, and she gasped.
“I didn’t know you were there.” She stood, wringing her hands. “Are you all right?”
He chuckled. “I think I’ll live.”
Even in the waning moonlight he could see her concern shift to a frown. “Serves you right for sneaking up on me out here.”
He glanced over his shoulder at the open space between the woods and the fortress. “Even in this darkness you could have seen me coming if you’d been looking.”
Her frown deepened, and he tried to backtrack.
“I just came to make sure you’re all right. You seemed upset.” He stepped closer and she looked away, wrapping her arms around herself.
“I’m just frustrated. For all Sylmar’s talk about wanting me to step into some sort of leadership role, he let the group override the decision. It makes no sense. He wanted to go to Pacran as well. That’s what we should have done.”
“Maybe he was waiting to see if you pushed back.”
The glare she’d reserved for the stump shifted to him. “So you’re saying I failed his test?”
“I don’t know if anyone passes any of Sylmar’s tests.” He grinned, and when her frown smoothed out and the edges of her lips curved upward, he felt a strange rush of satisfaction.
“We should be going to Pacran’s library,” she said again, as if wanting reassurance she’d been right. “How can we trust anything that crazy sea witch tells us? Even if it’s right, what’s the benefit if knowledge of the future drives us all to insanity?”
The sprite’s instructions for finding the silver fish were on the tip of his tongue, but somehow he didn’t think that detail would change her mind. If anything, it would get him in trouble for siding with those wanting to go to Andel. So he kept his silence, letting her assume he agreed. It wasn’t exactly a lie, was it?
Guilt wormed through him, a response usually only triggered by Enla. The thought made his guilt double, considering this journey could potentially set the sprite’s prediction in motion, resulting in Enla paying a heavy price. Or maybe it would result in Gaeren paying that heavy price since he’d tried to trade his own life for hers. Riveran mayhave saved his life by killing the sprite, but he also might have solidified Enla’s danger. Or maybe the sprite’s death had canceled out all the deals he’d tried making.
Aeliana sat back on the stump. “I suppose I don’t understand Vendarans enough to think the way they do. I hate that my mother’s so confused. I hate that the Recreants expect me to follow in her footsteps.”
“Ah.” He squatted next to her, dragging a stick through the pine needles scattered on the forest floor. “So that’s why they bow to you.” He should have figured it out, but his politics were far more focused on how to help the Recreants get out from under his father’s thumb to consider the Recreants’ divided interest in placing Emeris on the throne instead.
“The ones who don’t know me bow,” she spat out. “Those who do are well aware that I’m more Lorvandan than Vendaran. I’m not fit to be a part of their cause, let alone lead it.”
“Then don’t.”
She huffed in disbelief.
He tapped her knee until she looked at him. “I mean it. You don’t have to be Lorvandan or Vendaran. You’re just Daisy.”
Her eyes grew troubled. “I’m only Daisy to you.”
His face warmed when he realized what he’d said. “Sorry, you’re just Aeliana.” He sat back on the grass and pine needles. “Just… don’t try to be something you’re not.”
She sighed. “Orra said something similar. It’s a nice sentiment, but Sylmar, Iris, and Kendalyhn—even my mother—they’re all pushing me to accept the culture. To be one of them.” She toyed with the hem of her skirt. “They want me to wear leathers instead of dresses.”
A laugh burst out of him before he could hold it back, and she turned hurt-filled eyes his way.
“Sorry, it just seems ridiculous. But if it makes them happy, why not try it? Then maybe they’ll realize you can’t throw pants on a woman and make her something else, and you can go back to wearing these.” He gestured toward her dress.
She grimaced. “They also want me to cut my hair.” She pulled herhair around to one side, combing her fingers through it and twisting it up as if testing how it might feel to be short.
