Page 161 of Salt in the Seas
It started out much like the letter he’d received, urging Riveran to bring Gaeren home, insisting they were not in trouble and that she could deal with her parents. But there were times where her pen trailed off, as if she’d lost her thought midway through the sentence. There were even statements that held affection, proof that either her bond with Croft had never fully taken or that her mind was deteriorating and falling back into the past when she’d cared for Riveran so deeply.
“I wasn’t sure if I was going to go,” Gaeren said, “but I can’t ignore this.”
Riveran’s face relaxed. “What about Aeliana and the others?”
Gaeren rubbed the scar on his palm, then slid his hand under his sleeve to touch the braid. Aeliana planned to return to the Myndren Mountains, but he couldn’t go that far. Not if Enla needed him. And yet how could he leave Aeliana now? Especially if Sylmar suspected she was branded. He squeezed his eyes shut, unable to consider that possibility. If Aeliana was branded by Mayvus, she wouldn’t express affection for him, would she? And yet how had Iris been fooled by Holm’s brand for moons?
This decision went far deeper than his feelings for Aeliana or even for his need to protect his sister. Both women would want him to protect the Vendaran people. Staying with Aeliana could allow him to protect the Vendaran people’s future leader if the Recreants had their way. But staying with Enla could help him pave the way for Aeliana to have that future while still protecting his sister.
“They don’t need us right now,” Gaeren said slowly. “In fact, the distance might be good for a time.”
“It’s all right for you to be with Aeliana,” Riveran said. “Breaking your bond freed you from a connection you didn’t willingly make.”
“That’s not why I want distance. But I’m glad she and I will at least be parting on good terms. It should be temporary.” Even as he said the words, his heart ached over the idea of saying goodbye. “We were born in opposing families, but we’re not destined to always be at odds. Not if I have any say in it. I just can’t ignore Enla’s plea for help. Not after—” He glanced at Riveran.
“The sprites?” Riveran asked.
Gaeren nodded, then clenched his teeth as he folded up Enla’s letter.
“So you’ll let them sail on without you? In your ship?”
“It was a gift from my parents to distract me and appease me. It served its purpose. Now, it’s the Recreants’ ship.To the Deep and Backwas never truly mine. Larkos can use it as he sees fit.”
Riveran’s mouth swung open, but Gaeren strode past him and out onto the deck. Several of the sailors greeted him while they worked, including Brogdon, who seemed far more at ease than when Gaeren had last seen him before they’d crossedthe barrier.
Erech gave him a grin and salute from where he swabbed the deck, looking taller and tanner than Gaeren remembered. He returned the boy’s smile but didn’t change course as he made his way to Larkos, who instructed several sailors where to put supplies being brought on board.
Larkos showed little surprise when Gaeren shared his plans, but his suspicions ran far deeper than Gaeren’s own.
“Do you think she’s always telling you the truth?” Larkos asked.
“No,” Gaeren admitted. “I think she tells me whatever she thinks will get me going down the path she wants me on.”
Larkos nodded. “Well, at least you’re not as oblivious as you seem.” The words came out on a huff that softened the barb.
“You asked me in Andel how I could best serve the Recreants, how I could make a difference for my people.” Gaeren frowned, his gaze on the door, his mind conjuring Aeliana and all the ways he thought protecting her might be best for the people. But despite Lady Merinnia’s warnings, he couldn’t believe that protecting both Aeliana and his sister was impossible. “I still think Aeliana is key to the Recreants’ success. I can’t explain why. But things have changed, and I no longer have a role as her protector. Perhaps I was only meant to help her get through Sayhla Island. I don’t know. But Enla calling me home is an opportunity I can’t pass up. You and the southern Recreants were right. I can do more to thwart my family’s power if I take my place as throne warden.”
The decision left him uneasy even though he knew it was right. Going up against his family while pretending to support them was the deepest sort of lie he’d ever told. But it was for their own good. He patted the arrow in his pocket, remembering his rash promise to the southern Recreants. He didn’t regret making it. Taking down their throne from within would be far less bloody than letting the Recreants take it down from outside. Besides, if he stayed with the Recreants, Sylmar would keep pushing him to spy on Aeliana, and that was a line he wasn’t willing to cross.
“You don’t think she knows you’ve switched sides? After all, she sees the future.” Larkos’ words held a hint of fear, one of those raremoments Gaeren was reminded the hardened sailor saw him as a son more than a prince.
“Whether or not she’s seen my discussions with Recreants in the possible paths or whether she’s seen this exact conversation, she’s confident she and I have the same end goals. That’s why she’s called me home.”
“Are you so sure?” Larkos asked. “Sylmar likes to keep his enemies close. How do you know your sister isn’t doing the same?”
Gaeren shrugged. “I think if she saw me as a true enemy in the future, she would have already put an end to my path. As much as she loves me, she will always love Vendaras first.”
Saying the words out loud was painful. He didn’t want them to be true, but it was a reality he couldn’t ignore. Not any longer. Enla put the future of Vendaras before her own health and safety, so he couldn’t ever assume she would do any different for him.
“She’s not evil,” he added, feeling a need to defend her. “I think she means it when she says she’s doing what’s best for her people. I’m just not sure she knows what’s truly best. Not anymore. She thinks we’re both fighting for the same thing. She doesn’t realize how little our paths align.”
Larkos’ eyebrows raised, shifting the tattoos lining his scalp. “Strange words about someone who can see possible paths in the future.”
Gaeren winced, wondering if he’d underestimated his sister. Was he wrong? “Just because she can see the possible paths doesn’t mean she interprets them well. She used to berate me for not trying hard enough with Lenda. Then she insisted I break my bond. She changes which path she wants me to take on a whim when she sees something new. When I return, she’s probably going to tell me to mend things with Lenda. Her mind is breaking. I don’t know that we can trust her visions anymore.”
Larkos nodded. “Calia always feared as much for her. It’s why she has a soft spot for her, even though she’s destined to be queen. Calia’s mother had a similar fate. She lived a long life, but the last twenty years were spent in her mind, living out some future path no one else could see. It was difficult to watch.”
Gaeren’s fear for his sister grew tenfold.
