Nora reaches her hands out, and I take her in my arms, close my eyes, and inhale that fresh, sweet smell.
Could I truly do this?
Not for him. But for me.
That’s the question.
And I need to find the answer.
26
Liam
My first patient on Monday is none other than the devil himself.
Saul.
But Maya doesn’t seem as frazzled or as manic as she did on our date, or on her first visit to the clinic after our date. She made an appointment a few weeks ago and has been working through her cat’s issues.
She’s calmer, more hopeful, and Saul seems to be doing better too.
“I’ve been able to leave the house a few times without him. I was able to go to the library,” she says with obvious enthusiasm.
“That’s fantastic,” I say, stroking the less devilish devil. “He seems to be doing well.”
We talk more as he purrs, and when we’re done, she tucks him into a cat carrier. “Thank you for that date last month. Even though it didn’t go anywhere, it made me realize something.”
“What’s that?”
“That I needed to make a change. And I did.”
“I’m glad it was helpful to you. And I’m glad it was helpful to Saul.”
“The funny thing is, after I started seeing you about the cat, I met this guy online, and he’s great. I went to dinner without taking Saul. Then to a movie.”
“That’s terrific progress.”
She hoists the carrier onto her shoulder. “If things hadn’t gone wrong with you, I never would’ve met this new guy.” She pats the bag. “It’s funny how things work out, isn’t it?”
“Yeah. It is funny,” I say with a small smile.
After the appointment, I take a lunch break, needing some exercise, so I ride to the town square in Duck Falls, and lock up my bike. But the way things work out feels less funny and more frustrating and annoying. It feels like things should work out in an entirely different way.
I still don’t know what way that is, but it shouldn’t be this.
I wander the town square, marinating on where I am in life. Where I want to be.
I pass the boba tea shop, and Nina waves to me. I stroll by the wine bar, and Oscar says hi as he sets up for the afternoon. I venture by the hair salon, where January’s friend gives me a nod.
Do I miss New York?
Yes, but no.
All these people, all these places feel right to me.
That ought to be enough.
At the corner, I spot the hardware store, a reminder that I need to snag a new light bulb to replace one that burned out. Best to focus on practical matters, not the ruminations of a half-empty heart.
I head inside and say hello to the two men who run the shop, Travis’s dads. David points me to the light bulb section. I grab one, head to the counter, and say, “This is all I need today.”
“Are you sure you know how to install it? Do you need help with that, vet?” David teases.
“I think I can figure it out. Connects to the dewclaw, right?”
“Sure, but if you can’t get it sorted, you just be sure to ask the carpenter next door,” David says, a little flirty, like he enjoys being in on the news about January and me.
Even though there is no January and me. Not like there was that day we ran into them.
I keep my grin fixed on my lips. “Sure. Will do, mate.”
He rings me up, hands me the light bulb, and says, “We’re having a barbecue next weekend. If you’d like to join us, it would be fun. The boys can play baseball.”
“I’d love that.” I leave, content that I’m making friends in this new town, right along with my son. That ought to be a good thing.
Plus, we’re going to the dog shelter this weekend.
That’ll be a great thing.
And even though my dad is facing plenty of challenges, he’s holding up.
I see him often. Mum too.
All good things.
My clients are great. My practice is thriving. My son is happy.
The glass should be all the way full.
But it feels all the way empty.
I wander through the square some more, looking at my phone briefly when I see a text from Aunt Jane, thanking me for my latest pic of Ethan splashing in the pool.
* * *
Aunt Jane: Miss you, love. But life in California seems to be treating you well.
* * *
I’m not entirely sure what to say, so I reply with a smiley face. Then I delete the emoticon because I am not a smiley-face guy.
Instead, I type another answer.
* * *
Liam: Miss you too.
* * *
That feels true at the moment. I click to my next text.
* * *
Oliver: Did you ever figure out your fox issues?
* * *
This conversation requires a phone call. I ring him on FaceTime. He’s in his Manhattan office, wearing a suit, and I’m in my scrubs. He looks me up and down. “I see we’re both in our work uniforms.”
