Page 71 of Untamed Heart
I paused, cursing myself. I’d been meaning to keep the fees part to myself and hoped Bailey wouldn’t mention it to Lil, for now at least. I knew Lil didn’t have the spare money and I wasn’t about to let her get into debt for an experiment. Thanks to having no life outside of work in London, and Kyle spending most of our relationship trying to buy my affection by working his way steadily through his family money, my savings had been pretty extensive. But, between keeping my flat in London and now the influencer fees, the moment where I’d have to decide between the new job or staying here had very nearly arrived.
‘I reckon you’d make a great influencer,’ I deflected, noting her incredulous look. ‘What? You’d be great. I just wish I’d filmed you at the rodeo – that riding was insane.’
She shrugged, looking faintly embarrassed at the praise.
‘I’m not cool enough for social media,’ she teased, nudging my arm with hers.
‘You are genuine and amazing, and these influencers are going to love you and have a lot of fun.’
‘So . . . are you gonna be okay with Cole being part of this charm offensive?’ Bailey asked after a pause. The question was innocent enough, but somehow it felt like a stab in the heart.
‘I asked him to be his usual charming self,’ I said, receiving a calculated glance in response, my voice not quite able to hide my internal conflict. The thought of Cole looking at someone else the way he did at me, of having it returned by one of the women – both straight, both beautiful – was acutely painful. But, if it led to the kind of content the ranch needed to get bookings in again, to help build the business to secure Lil’s and everyone else’s future . . . then the sacrifice had to be worth it.
That’s how I justified it, anyway. Despite the physical ache of missing Cole’s skin against my own. Of never having been quite so aware of him being on the other side of the house, the other side of a door. Twice now, I’d wandered down the hall towards his room, hesitating as I drew closer. The thought of touching him again was all that occupied my thoughts, in between preparation for the influencers’ arrival this evening. But I knew it wasn’t fair to him, to either of us.
‘I hope you don’t mind me saying so,’ Bailey began, pausing to choose her words carefully. ‘But it sure would be strange here without you now. If you go on home to London after this.’
I nodded, swallowing.
‘I didn’t expect it to be such a difficult choice.’
‘Yep, well,’ she said, finally getting up and stretching, her final bridle now finished, ‘these things always happen when you least expect them, right? I never expected to become a barrel racer, get a sponsor or two, make something of it. But sometimes life just happens and you’ve gotta trust your gut.’
I took a deep breath. Two days. We just had to get through two days. And then, if everything went okay, if Lil would let me stay, then maybe . . .
‘What about you?’ I asked, needing to get the hell out of my head for a while. ‘Anyone catch your interest round here?’
‘Aw, no one really.’ She grinned. ‘I’m not much of a commitment type, y’know? I don’t mind a little fun now and then but it’s just me and Dunkin against the world right now.’
Five minutes before six, I spotted headlights curving up the bottom of the drive.
‘Lil! They’re here, I need you out front. You seen the others?’ I shouted, grabbing my hat as I ran out of my room, right into Cole.
‘Woah there,’ he said, voice low as he steadied me, his hands on my arms. ‘You all right?’
I looked up, startled. His touch set my heart racing, ratcheting up a notch as his eyes grazed my face, rested on my lips.
‘Yeah . . . I just . . . I think so,’ I stumbled, wanting to step into him but also step away; to resist the urge but also feel him again.
‘It’ll go fine,’ he soothed, thumb stroking my arm, sending heat through my skin. Then, as though he could feel it, he withdrew. ‘I promise we’ll do everything we can to make this work, okay?’
‘Right, just two days,’ I told myself, half under my breath.
He nodded, still staring into my face. Then, as if reassuring himself too, he said, ‘Okay. Let’s make this a show they don’t forget.’
‘I forgot to ask, ma’am,’ Jesse said as he approached, shirt unbuttoned at the top and a lazy grin on his face. ‘Are the two of us allowed to wear shirts this weekend, or . . .’
I dead-eyed him.
‘Get outside and charm the fuck out of themwithclothes on,’ I instructed. Moving past us, Jesse touched the brim of his hat in response.
Cole said nothing else, just adjusted his hat and strode away with Jesse. I tried to gather myself, hearing Lil calling Bailey over from the kitchen. I hung back, wanting the first introductions to be with the four of them, the true ranch reps.
I stepped out onto the porch to find the two women already out of the taxi, shaking hands with Lil. Both on the taller side, one brunette, Ashley, and one pale blonde, Kendra, were both staring fixedly at Cole and Jesse. They were even more stunning in real life, clearly not needing any of the filters on social.
I couldn’t blame them for ogling the cowboys; I’d done the same. But as Kendra approached Cole, doe-eyed and smiling, I felt sick. He smiled in greeting before taking her hand to shake it, ducking his head with the shy smile that pulled on every feeling at my core.
‘Well hey, Cole . . . the videos don’t lie, right, Ash?’ she said, turning back to her friend, hand over her heart.
