Page 12 of Untamed Heart
‘Now you mention it, maybe the countryside is exactly what I need,’ I said, biting my lip to stifle a laugh as she swore again. ‘Thanks, Hes. I promise not to be a pathetic loser for too long.’
‘Enough!’ she barked. ‘Leave the city now, you need some headspace. Call me when you’re there. Okay? And no trash-talking yourself. I absolutely forbid it.’
I agreed, but as I hung up and the silence returned, the doubts immediately resurfaced. Was I just running away? Wouldn’t it be better to stay here and face it? Try and talk to Kyle, maybe?
The thought of being face to face with him, the same hands that’d grazed that woman’s face last night being anywhere near me . . . A fresh wave of nausea rose up and I decided on a shower instead.
My phone screen lit up.
Dad’s actually going to be away for a while longer – he’s dropping in to see Carrie on the way back home. It’s her 60th, can you believe it? Not on the ranch, Lil’s running that now. Carrie’s in Denver. Anyway, more time for you, me and Archie. Love you, sweetie. It’ll be okay. X
Feeling infinitesimally lighter, I climbed into the shower and attempted to scald the previous day away. The water engulfed me, a stark contrast to the feeling I’d had of being a dried-out husk, completely purged through tears and tequila.
I closed my eyes to it all, my mum’s message suddenly bringing a memory to the surface. My cousin Lil and I, riding by a creek near the ranch she’d grown up on. In our grandma’s family for a hundred years or so, the Diamond Back ranch was a few thousand acres on the edge of the Tetons, near Jackson Hole in Wyoming. My parents and I had been out there almost every summer when I was growing up, and Lil and I would spend our days riding for hours. One particular day by the creek, the sun beating down through the chill air to warm us, we almost rode straight into a grizzly bear, fishing further downstream.
My gasp had been swallowed by the sound of the water rushing past, frothy white waves rushing around boulders and rocks centre stream.
‘Back up,’ Lil said quietly. ‘It hasn’t seen us yet. We’re upwind.’
In one lithe movement, she pulled out the shotgun from the holster on her saddle, swung it round into her right hand and pulled gently on Penny, her horse, to signal to her to walk backwards.
My heart thundered, wondering if my time was up. I was just eleven and Lil fifteen, but Lil just laughed quietly.
‘What?’ I hissed, incredulous.
‘If you shit yourself on my new saddle, I’ll feed you to the damn bear myself.’
Wide-eyed, I stared at her as we turned both horses in a smooth 180 and after a painful few seconds of walking until we’d rounded the corner, kicked them into a canter. As we approached the meadow beyond, Lil turned, first checking that the grizzly hadn’t followed and then grinning at me as we slowed to a stop.
‘You okay, cowgirl? Those pants dry?’
I was too full of adrenaline to scowl.
‘Weren’t you scared?’ I asked, stroking my horse Jasper’s neck, his black coat shining with health and, now, sweat. He pulled at the reins, wanting to keep going, clearly enjoying himself.
‘Oh honey, that bear was just minding his business, he had no problem with us. C’mon now, you must’ve seen enough of the world to know that there’s worse out there than a bear?’
Freckles dotted her tanned face and her hair was the colour of warm honey. She was only four years older than me, but had a lifetime’s worth of wisdom already under her belt. The realities of helping her parents run a cattle ranch apparently taught more than my rural secondary school in England.
‘Suppose so,’ I replied, feeling embarrassment colour my cheeks.
‘Hey,’ she added, moving Penny over to me and reaching to squeeze my hand. ‘I’m only messing. A summer here and we’ll have those soft edges all roughened up, right?’
I smiled, trying to meet her eyes and squeezing back.
‘You’re a country girl, Lottie, I know it. You ride like you were born to it. You just need to get to knowthiscountry.’ She gestured around at the snow-tipped, craggy peaks, the endless wilderness. ‘She’s the real main character here, you know? It ain’t really about us.’
I nodded and, seemingly satisfied that I was no longer about to cry or ruin her saddle, Lil shifted Penny over to the left and raised an eyebrow.
‘Race you back to the barn?’
Jasper’s ears cocked, and he suddenly danced sideways as he saw Penny getting ready to leap forward, only Lil’s expert skills preventing her from bolting.
‘What do I win?’ I laughed, now having to wage my own fight with Jasper’s spirit.
‘My eternal respect and maybe a trip into town to ride the rodeo bull at the Cowboy Bar?’
Before she had a chance to finish, I’d urged Jasper into a flat gallop, enjoying the flash of shock on her face before Penny followed. As I clutched my hat to my head with one hand and the reins in the other, we flew over the grass, the sun like a warm hand on my back.
