Page 75 of Untamed Heart
‘Okay, okay. Look, here it is.’ His hands were open, eyes beseeching. ‘I won’t deny that I made a big mistake – a monumental fuck-up, okay? I’m not pretending about that at all. Total honesty from me, all right?’
I folded my arms, keeping my lips clamped shut. The only fuck-up had been on my part, thinking that we were ever right for each other. Compared to how I felt now, to what Cole had shown me, my relationship with Kyle had been exposed in all of its ugly true colours. A surface-level nothing.
‘But no one is perfect. Everything we had was so good, Lots, you can’t deny that? It’s our one-year anniversary in a few weeks. That means something. I mean, Christ, I’ve never been with the same person for that long.’
‘You weren’t,’ I replied, unable to help myself. ‘You were with meandher.’
Our drinks arrived and he made a ridiculous show of over-tipping, the waiter falling over himself to thank him before leaving.
‘The real question here isn’t about all of that,’ he said finally, sipping his coffee and grimacing. ‘God, Americans never know how to make real coffee, do they? Lottie, this is really about whether you’re willing to throw away everything we had for one silly mistake. It’s bad enough that you got sacked, let alone creating all this mess with us.’
I clenched my hands into fists, my knuckles aching as I forced myself to keep it together.
‘I didn’t get sacked, I got made redundant. Two different things.’
He shrugged.
‘Minor details,’ he replied. ‘Surely you don’t want to give up that easily on everything? On us? Lottie, I don’t want this to be it. We work well, me and you, everyone thinks so. I mean, God, even Mother sees it and she loathes everyone.’
And here we were, at the part I knew we’d reach eventually. The bit I’d imagined all too easily in those long hours awake last night, when I’d pretend to be talked round, start to go along with things like the good little girl he’d petted and bought for the best part of a wasted year.
Kyle would never willingly let go of something he felt he had a right to; it would need to be taken away, irretrievably. So I’d figured there was only one way to play this out and not ruin the influencer weekend, much as I loathed the idea of it. Leo was integral to the success of it all, and I didn’t want any of his focus on Kyle.
For now, I’d play the part of the wronged girlfriend, but be forgiving and grateful for Kyle’s efforts to win me back. When they’d all gone, however, their experiences cemented and content secured, he would be officially dumped in no uncertain terms. I wasn’t sure how I wanted this to go yet; that probably needed another sleepless night to figure out.
The only part I couldn’t reconcile with this plan was the inevitable pain it would cause Cole. It would be temporary, explained away in less than forty-eight hours, but it would be pain nevertheless. It’d brought tears to the surface, imagining how he’d feel, thinking I’d gone back on my promise not to forgive Kyle. I’d even toyed with telling him my plan, but I knew how perceptive Kyle could be, knew it had to appear real. Cole was many wonderful things, but a poker-faced strategist wasn’t one of them.
‘We did work well,’ I said slowly, eyes downcast. ‘That’s why it hurt so much.’ I found his eyes, saw the sudden light of optimism sparking.
He moved his chair closer, launching into his vision of how things would be from now on, the key he’d already had cut for me, for his house. I let him talk and talk, agreeing where required, until his version of events was reality, for him at least. The thought of the life he painted for us, of the grey, unforgiving London I’d struggled against for so long, felt unfathomable.
‘Oh, Lots, I’ve missed you,’ he added finally, reaching over to stroke my hair.
Barely repressing a shudder, I gave him a small smile.
‘Let’s take it slowly,’ I said, treading carefully around his ego. ‘I need time to adjust, I think.’
He pouted for a moment, then nodded.
‘So where are the influencers today?’ he asked, leaning back, satisfied that the charm offensive was complete. ‘I can’t believe the money Leo gets paid for this kind of thing,’ he scoffed.
I felt a stab of panic, needing to get us somewhere public, somewhere where he wouldn’t try his luck physically. The thought of having to kiss him, let alone anything else, turned my stomach.
‘Well, they’re heading over to the Cowboy Bar soon, actually. Happy hour and line dancing this afternoon. It’s a Jackson staple. We should go, it’ll be fun.’
He raised his eyebrows, finishing his coffee.
‘Suppose there’s not much else to do round here out of season,’ he said, shrugging. ‘This place is only good for skiing, and even then I prefer Aspen. It’s all a bit rough and ready, isn’t it? Anyway – lead the way.’
We’d been in the bar for barely an hour when the group arrived. Although I was sitting with Kyle, his arm casually lying across the back of my chair as we watched the dancing, seeing Cole enter with Kendra hanging off him was a gut punch.
‘Oh, look!’ Leo called, waving at us from the bar.
Everyone turned, Cole last of all. In one movement, his entire body bristled, standing straighter, arms flexing. Jesse held his arm, whispered something over his shoulder.
We exchanged no words as they came over, Kendra holding on to Cole’s arm as she led him straight into the dancing, Jesse and Ashley following. Bailey, Lil, Alix and Leo were chatting, faces animated as Leo filmed everything.
He waved us over and whilst Kyle stood up, I stayed seated, three strong cocktails having taken effect.
