Page 74 of Untamed Heart
‘Are you a regular, Cole?’ Kendra asked, swirling the ice in her drink, looking up from under her eyelashes at him on the other side of the same sofa.
Ignoring it, swallowing down all feelings, I turned to Leo.
‘So, how’s New York?’ I asked, wondering if my fixed smile looked as fake as it felt.
‘It’s fun, I’m liking it,’ he answered, his own smile slow, curious. ‘But . . . I’ve got to ask, what’s going on? Kyle didn’t tell me why you were here and now he’s been sent packing to his hotel . . .’ He raised his eyebrows, holding up his hands as my expression changed.
I felt frozen, stuck between wanting to tell the truth and wanting to glaze over it all.
‘I needed a break. We’re having a break,’ I admitted, keeping my voice low. ‘I spent a lot of time here as a kid and it’s the first place that came to mind when I needed to feel safe somewhere, you know?’
He raised an eyebrow.
‘You and Kyle are having a break, or a break-up? Oh my God, this is huge, you guys are the hottest couple!’
His voice carried across the room during a lull in conversation, almost every head turning in his direction, including Cole’s.
I could feel the weight of his stare on the side of my face as my stomach dropped. The urge to be anywhere other than this conversation was overwhelming. How could I have been so stupid as to try and keep to innocent small talk with one of Kyle’s friends?
The choice felt impossible. Tell Leo it was totally over and risk him not helping the ranch, maybe somehow turning this weekend into making some kind of reconciliation happen; or hurting Cole.
‘I’m going to speak to Kyle tomorrow,’ I said, not giving a direct answer and shooting a look at Lil that begged her to take the attention away from me. ‘I guess we’ll see.’
He opened his mouth to ask more, just as Lil announced the itinerary for the next day and started to take orders for another round of drinks. Excusing myself before he could ask any more, I headed to my room, careful not to look at Cole as I did so.
‘Thanks again for inviting us,’ Kendra drawled as I reached the door, forcing me to turn back to look at her. ‘I think it’s going to be a fun weekend.’
She glanced at Cole, biting her lip as he looked back at her for a moment.
‘You’re welcome,’ I replied, feeling and hearing the steely corporate barrier rise once again. ‘Have a great day tomorrow, and I’ll join you all in the evening at the Cowboy Bar.’
As I left, I felt Cole’s eyes follow me out, right as Kendra launched into another story, demanding his attention. As I walked back to my room, I knew I had to make this work.
There was too much at stake.
Almost no sleep later, I overapplied my make-up in the morning, bemused that this had been my routine for so long before arriving here. It felt like an age of dabbing and squinting, then styling my hair into something smooth and tamed. I’d got used to my natural hair, letting the curls fall casually across my shoulders, but that wasn’t going to cut it at the Four Seasons.
I needed Kyle to see me as I had been, to say no to him as the version of myself he knew. His reaction last night had spoken volumes, and now I needed to make this conversation with him count. I’d willingly walk in there, make myself very clear and leave.
Even my clothes were London-coded, the things I’d been wearing when I arrived, making me feel entirely out of place. Everything felt uncomfortable, the jeans that’d cost a small fortune from some new designer label at Harvey Nics now paling in comparison with the fit of my Wranglers.
Grabbing the keys to Lil’s truck, as we’d agreed the previous night, I headed out. Waiting until everyone was prepping for their ride, loading up with supplies for a picnic, paid off. After last night, I decided keeping talking to a minimum was the best course of action.
As I drove past the corral, Cole and Jesse turned towards me, already mounted. Cole’s jaw was set and his eyes dark, calling something out to Lil as I passed. I knew he wouldn’t like what I was about to do, but I had to do it. Alone.
The lounge at the Four Seasons was busy, with early summer guests heading out for hikes, rides and trips up to Yellowstone. It only took a few seconds of surveying the area to see Kyle, talking to another tourist, the two of them mirroring each other’s confident swagger.
I approached slowly, waiting for Kyle to spot me from the corner of his eye.
‘Ah, Hugo – this is my girlfriend, Lottie. You won’t believe it, Lots – Hugo’s another old Etonian, works just up the road from your old place in the City. Anyway, good to see you – maybe a drink later?’
I nodded as Hugo offered a hello and goodbye, managing to avoid Kyle’s hand on my arm as he guided us towards some chairs near the tall window overlooking the mountains beyond.
With simmering rage, I sat opposite him, letting him order for me, knowing there was no point fighting the habit of a lifetime.
‘Kyle, I’m not your girlfriend,’ I began. ‘Flying all the way over here and then pretending nothing has changed is completely delusional.’
He eyed me for a moment, as though considering the best tactic to use, how tomanageme.
