Page 50 of Untamed Heart
His answering smile was breathtaking.
‘Oh I bet you could, Princess,’ he murmured, biting his lip for a moment. Leaning back in his chair, as though forcing the distance between us, he considered me.
‘Enough of me, I wanna know all about you. Where you grew up, right up to now.’
I raised my eyebrows, letting out a breath as I figured out how to sum up twenty-four years without boring him. But, as he held his wine glass, almost bracing his arms to himself, I told him about growing up in the English countryside, the pressure from my dad to make something of myself. The striving to get into uni, then meeting Hestia and letting go for a while, embracing her sense of adventure.
‘She sounds fun,’ he said, smile widening.
‘Hestia’s the best,’ I replied, smiling back but feeling sad. ‘I hope you meet her someday – I think you’d like her,’ I added, lost in the fantasy of getting her out here, imagining her fitting in with the ranch. ‘My boyfriend – I mean, ex-boyfriend,’ I stumbled, internally kicking myself, ‘never understood her. But, turns out I should’ve listened to her instincts about him. He turned out to be a complete prick.’
Cole’s expression had become deep, brooding.
‘What happened?’ he asked, not quite managing to conceal the feelings that I could see simmering under the surface.
As I told him, slowly working over the events that had led up to me getting on the plane, he gradually leant forward, reaching out for my hand over the table.
‘It was shit, all of it,’ I finished, finding his hand. ‘And I’ve been waiting for the weight of it to hit, you know? To really feel heartbroken or whatever, like a delayed reaction to arrive.’
He frowned, his thumb slowly stroking the back of my hand.
‘And? Are you heartbroken?’
Holding his eyes with mine, I shook my head, the words almost drying up.
‘I can’t have been,’ I said, noticing how his thumb had stopped moving, his hand now completely still. ‘Because thinking of him doesn’t make me feel anything. It’s all coming from somewhere else right now.’
He glanced down for a moment, seemingly trying to decide something.
‘I’ll admit, I’ve never been in love before,’ he said softly, looking back up at me. ‘But I’ve heard folks say that when it happens, you know. Deep down.’
My heart hammered; I couldn’t look away from him, from the way he held my eyes.
‘I’ve heard that too.’
I smiled as he squeezed my hand. Before either of us could say anything else, reality arrived in the form of the waiter with our food.
‘You going to film this too for social media?’ he teased, breaking the intensity between us.
I laughed, shaking my head. ‘No chance! It’s cowboys and sunsets that people want, not food.’
‘Dude ranching sure is different to the old way of doing things,’ he said, his expression becoming thoughtful again. ‘I remember going out to help Dad and Jay, my brother, in the dark, before school, all weathers.’
I grimaced, remembering one of the winters we’d visited Jackson and experienced what minus 20 degrees felt like, realizing just how tough the locals actually were to live through it.
‘Must’ve been hard,’ I ventured. ‘I remember bitching and moaning about going up to the stables at home when it was one or two degrees – that’s mid-thirties to you.’
He scoffed.
‘Nah, it wasn’t that bad. Took my mind off all the shit with Mom, you know? My dad’s not great with emotional stuff and Wyatt’s just like him. It actually wasn’t until I met Lil that I had anyone to talk to.’
My heart broke for him, and I reached my hand out again immediately. He took it.
‘Were you young, when she left?’ I asked, just hoping that he hadn’t been alone for long. But as he nodded, I pressed my lips together, not able to prevent the prickle of tears that welled up. I could picture it so easily, a young version of this beautiful man, coping with something that no one should have to go through, never mind with no one to talk to.
‘I was seven,’ he admitted, squeezing my hand, still watching as I processed his pain. ‘It was the worst time of my life. But . . . I don’t know. Somehow, in a fucked-up way, it’s made me love the people I’ve chosen to be in my life even more? Maybe if it’d been laid out on a plate I wouldn’t appreciate it so much.’
I couldn’t speak for a moment, turning to take a sip of my drink instead.
