Page 31 of Untamed Heart
Confused, I turned back to him, noting the tightness in his jaw. This was hard for him to admit too, I could see – painful, even.
‘And how did it work out for her?’ I asked, keeping my voice gentle, wanting to repay his honesty in return, the rush of empathy I felt deep down.
He paused, finding my eyes again. We stared at each other for a moment, goosebumps building across my arms, forcing me to lower them into the water.
‘I don’t know,’ he said, ducking his head a little as a raw undertone crept into his words. ‘She rarely visited me, my brother or my dad after she left us. Last I heard she was running some tech company in San Francisco, found herself a whole new family over there.’
I swallowed as the pain now openly seeped into his expression. It was all I could do not to reach over and offer a hand, a touch on his arm to express the ache of sadness I suddenly felt on his behalf. The city girl jibes now made perfect sense, expressing the hurt that was clearly still so close to the surface.
‘Shit,’ I replied, ‘I’m sorry. No wonder you’re not keen on city people. I had no idea.’
His half-smile was sad, the accompanying shrug not quite casual enough to be convincing.
‘How would you know? It’s okay. I mean, it’s not, but I’m a grown-ass man.’ He sighed, shaking his head. ‘I need to let this shit go, you know?’
I kept still, aware of just how vulnerable he was being with me. It felt like a real apology somehow for the past few days; not a few words at the surface, but pulling the truth from the deep, painful though it was. It reminded me somehow of how Hestia was, a genuine generosity of spirit shining through.
‘Or, live with it, recognize it for what it is. You don’t have to be defined by her actions.’ I paused, considering him in a new light. ‘From what Lil tells me, you’re defining yourself in the opposite way. She told me what you’ve done for her, for the ranch. I get the impression you’re about as far from selfish as it gets.’
My voice was quiet, but the words found their mark. He stayed quiet a moment, eyes on mine, softened.
‘So what do you want to make of yourself?’ he asked, shifting slightly in the water and disturbing the surface. I caught a glimpse of his abs, and fought to look away.
‘I just want to be good at what I do, whatever that is. If I could do that away from the city, then . . . that would be the dream. But that’s where all the opportunities are.’ I stopped, suddenly hearing my dad’s voice, somehow melded with mine. ‘Maybe it’s just a temporary thing,’ I added, my voice dropping to a whisper. ‘I’m not sure I can live surrounded by concrete my whole life.’
I felt his eyes on me, searching.
‘You and Lil kinda look alike, you know?’ he said, a new edge to his tone. He shifted across the pool, drawing closer to the edge that bordered mine. ‘Makes it difficult.’
My heart stuttered as I glanced up to see the change in his expression, the look he was giving me melting me right down to my core.
‘Makes what difficult?’ I asked, cursing myself for how breathy and ridiculous I sounded, the same way I had after he’d kissed me back in the bar. The way his lips had dragged against my neck, the feel of them as they’d brushed against my ear.
He smiled, eyes dipping.
‘I think of Lil as family,’ he began, his hands emerging from the water, gripping the side. ‘But the thoughts I’ve had about you, well, they’re not things you ever want to be thinking about family.’
I blinked, my eyes widening.
He chuckled and without warning, suddenly launched himself up by his hands and pulled himself out of the water. I turned my head away, but not before I’d caught sight of . . . everything.
‘Holy shit, Cole,’ I muttered, the image of his perfect, round ass, strong, long legs and package now branded onto my mind, filling my whole damn body with fire.
‘That’s what they all say,’ he laughed, and before I could retort, added, ‘What I mean to say is, no hard feelings, Princess. I’ve got no problem with you, never have.’ He paused, and I heard the sound of a towel over skin. ‘It’s just what todowith you.’
Speechless, I gripped the rock in front of me, still listening as he started to walk away. ‘Don’t stay out long – the other cowboys will be up soon and I don’t fancy starting my day knocking skulls together.’
Still stunned, I turned, watching him slowly disappear into the darkness like a figment from my imagination.
CHAPTER9
Lil was right. It was a crazy early start.
After pulling on my boots and wandering over to the campfires, now re-lit to heat some drinking water, I realized just how far I was from home. With my hands jammed in my jeans pockets to keep them warm, I looked across to the river, the first slivers of coral bleeding into the clouds at the horizon, the towering Tetons backlit with the first hints of dawn.
‘Ma’am.’
A voice at my side made me jump.
