Page 20 of Arranged Scars
“Are they married to the other brothers?”
“Exactly right!” Casey chats about her fellow wives. She has nothing but good things to say, which is really refreshing. Her joy is almost infectious. I find myself relaxing with her, even if this is kind of bizarre. She takes me into the main bedroom and gestures into the massive walk-in closet. “Check it out.”
This space is usually empty. I’ve vacuumed once or twice but I usually skip it. Now I step inside and straight ahead is an absolutely stunning vintage vanity.
It’s large and wooden, painted a grayish white, with a huge round mirror. Luxury skincare products cover the top. Caseyshows me the nail stuff, the hair stuff, more than a few masks, and a bottom drawer of make-up.
“I didn’t know your color or anything so I just got it all.” She beams at me happily. “What do you think? I tried to get you something that would be just yours. I know how it feels to move in with a strange man and get acclimated to his space. Now you’ve got your own little spot, even if it’s just this in a closet.”
I gaze at the vanity and run my fingers over the top. My throat clenches with tears. I swallow them back. Crying means pain and I know better, but I’m deeply touched. “This is the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me.”
Casey laughs like I was making a joke. But I really wasn’t. “Good, I’m glad you like it. If I knew you better, I would’ve gotten something a little more personal, but hey, we have plenty of time for that, right?” She slips her hand through my elbow. “You’re joining the family soon.”
“Right. The Whelan clan.”
“It’s not so big and scary, honestly.” She leads me from the closet. I want to stay a little longer and soak in the kindness of her gesture, but I also want to spend more time together. “The boys act all tough, but they’re devoted to each other and all of us. You’ll see, Finn’s the same. He’s more aloof, a little more detached, but I think he’s good at heart.”
“Are you sure about that?”
There must be something in the way I ask because Casey glances at me with some mild concern. “Did he do something?”
I shake my head quickly. “No, it’s not like that. He just always seems like nothing bothers him, you know?” I talk fast tocover up my discomfort. I don’t want Casey to know about my arrangement with Finn, about the work I’ve been doing for him, about the night we spent together. It’s just too embarrassing.
“That’s Finn,” she says brightly. “I think he wears it like a mask. Alina thinks there’s nothing more to him. I guess you’ll find out, right?”
I bristle at the thought that there’s nothing more to Finn than an empty smile. I caught glimpses of a man hiding behind that brutal facade. I felt his passion and desire. I’m not sure why it bothers me, but the thought of people seeing only a goofy, worthless grin on Finn’s face and nothing past that is just wrong.
We end up down in the kitchen. She produces a bottle of wine and pours two glasses. I ask her about the family and she goes on about her husband, Declan, the boss of the clan, and about Seamus and Cormac, the other two brothers. She talks about becoming a mother and about all the babies running around. “You’ll love Siobhan too. She’s an incredible woman. I don’t know how she managed to survive with all these crazy men around her, but it’s like she’s really running the show. Or at least it used to be.”
“Is Finn close with his mother?”
“Probably as close as he is with anyone.” Casey takes a long drink and studies me. “What about you? Close with yours?”
I think of my mother, grinning stupidly and acting like nothing’s wrong, and the dark blot of my father, and the vicious laughter of my brothers. “Not really so much anymore.”
“Sorry to hear it. I was raised by my aunt. She’s an incredible woman. But I get it, family can be, uh, more than a little complicated, to put it mildly.”
“Feels like it’s getting more complicated all the time.”
She gives me a compassionate smile. “I know this is hard. Trust me, I know better than most people. I wish I could say it’ll be okay in the end, but…” She trails off hesitantly. “It worked out for me. It worked for Alina and Bianca too. But that just feels so lucky.”
“It’s okay, honestly. You don’t have to make me feel better.”
“Maybe it’ll work for you too. But if it doesn’t, you know that Finn isn’t in love with you, right?”
My eyes widen slightly. “I’m not sure that’s as comforting as you think it is.”
“Oh, shoot, I’m sorry, I just mean that you can work with him. Finn’s a reasonable person once you get past all the mafia bullshit. You can make a life with him, create a partnership.”
I stare down at the glass, heart skipping in my chest. “A partnership… that’s what I dreamed about when I was a little girl.”
“I’m sorry. I really am.” Casey touches my hand. “It’s not fair. I tried to talk Declan out of it, but this is how the family works. Marriage is an essential part of creating and strengthening alliances.”
“I honestly don’t care about my family’s alliances.” I say it too fast and I instantly snap my jaw shut. I shouldn’t have let that come out. I don’t know Casey, but she’s married to the big boss. Her allegiances are squarely with the Whelans. Any suggestion that I’m not necessarily a team player won’t go over with her.
I expect a rebuke, but there’s only more sympathy. “That doesn’t change much, does it? You’ll find a way to live with this. I can’t help you, but I can try to be your friend if you’ll let me.”
I nod slowly. “I’d like that,” I say even though I don’t trust her yet. She seems nice, but I’ve learned a hundred times over the years that looks can sure as hell be deceiving.
