Page 3 of Friends That Heal Us
Some days, it’s hard to believe what they did. Not only were we married, but we were all best friends. Since childhood. I’ll never understand how two people can be so, fuck, I don’t even know the right words to describe what they are. What they’ve done.
Because who does shit like this?
I wrap my arms tighter around Vi and plant a kiss on the top of her head. She lifts her head from my chest, wipes her eyes, and stares out at the river flowing in front of us.
“Was I not good enough?” she mumbles.
“Vi, don’t say that.” I squeeze her tighter in my arms.
She looks over her shoulder, and the dark circles that linger under her red-rimmed eyes are more pronounced. “No. Really? Was I not a good enough friend to Rya or a good enough wife to Zayn?” she asks, leaning up and wiping her eyes again. “What did I do to deserve this? What did we do to deserve this?”
“Nothing,” I say firmly. “You did nothing and don’t ever blame yourself for how fucking cowardly those fucking idiots are.”
Her eyes squint as she focuses her gaze on me.
“What?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “I wasn’t sure how you felt about everything.”
“Why?”
“Because that night you seemed as if nothing fazed you.” She tilts her head. “Well, I guess compared to how I reacted. I know everyone reacts differently, but I still couldn’t read you.”
I was shocked to find out that my wife had slept with my best friend. But for me, things haven’t been the same with those two for a while now. I’ve kept it to myself because I haven’t known how to feel about it or what to do about it. All four of us together is all I’ve ever known. Was it the comfort of them? Maybe. I feel guilty sometimes not having the same reaction as Vi is having.
I swallow the lump in my throat. “I’m more hurt that two people so close to us could do something like that.”
She shifts her gaze back towards the river. “Yeah, I think that’s what hurts the most—it’s not only that we are losing our spouses but also our best friends.”
“You have me. You will always have me,” I say, placing my hand around her arm, pulling her closer to me even though we’re already shoulder to shoulder.
She lets out a sigh. “I know. I really don’t know what I would do if I lost you too.”
“You’ll never lose me. I promise.”
She nods her head. “Same here, Ez.”
She lets out a heavy sigh.
“What?” I ask.
Her shoulders slump forward. “I just…I just don’t know how to feel. I’m hurt and angry, and I feel like I’m in mourning all at the same time, and I don’t know how to handle my emotions. I don’t know what’s right or what’s wrong. I don’t know my next move. And those fuckers are…are…fuck, I don’t even know what they’re doing.”
“Have they not contacted you?”
“They have, but I’ve been ignoring them.”
“Hmm,” I say.
She squints her brow. “What?”
“At least I know I wasn’t the only one being ignored,” I say with a smirk.
“I’m sorry, Ez. I didn’t know what to say to you after…” She pauses. “You know.”
“Yeah, I get it. I thought I knew what I would say to you once I saw you, but the moment I saw you I wasn’t sure what the right words were.”
“It’s okay. At least I’m not the only one speechless,” she scoffs.
