Page 38 of Friends That Heal Us
Once I’m done separating the tangled necklaces, I hesitantly reach for a ring. Not any ring. My wedding ring. I pick it up and bring it up to the light. To my surprise, the ring doesn’t have its normal shine. It’s now dull, just like the man who placed it on my finger. This ring used to mean so much to me. Now, all it does is remind me of all his lies. I look down at my ring finger. A small indent where the ring used to lie wraps around my finger. Even with the ring off, there is still evidence of where the ring used to hug my finger tight. I rub my finger trying to see if the indent goes away. All it does is make my finger red. I huff in frustration. How long will this take to disappear? How long will it take for Zayn to finally disappear? I throw it back in the jewelry box and toss it into the corner of my closet.
Out of the corner of my eye, something pink catches my attention. I turn and spot the beaded bracelet Ezra made me when we were kids.
I pick it up, rolling the beads gently between my fingers, tracing the dark pink and light pink beads that circle around it. My thumb brushes over the three white beads in the center that are stamped with “BFF.” A small smile tugs at my lips as memories of us flood back. When times were simpler. When the only thing I was worried about was when I would get to play with my friends again.
I let out a sigh while more tears drop onto my hand as my head hangs low, staring down at pieces of my childhood. It is gut wrenching having to mourn the husband I thought I would spend the rest of my life with while also mourning my best friends.
I shift my body around until I find the ones Zayn and Rya made for me. I grab the violet one that Rya made for me. I remember her choosing this color since my name is Violet. My gaze falls on the four white beads marked “BFFE.” She used to always say, “Best friends forever and ever.” I drop hers to theground and pick up the white beaded one Zayn made. It only has white beads, no “BFF” or anything like that. Memories of him complaining that we were making bracelets like girls flood my mind. He didn’t want to do it and he half-assed it so we could get done quicker and go outside to play. Has he always been an asshole, and I never saw it?
“What happened here?”
My body jerks from being startled. I was so consumed by my thoughts I didn’t hear Ezra come in.
I look between him and the floor. It looks like a tornado, or a crazy person, blew through here. Zayn’s not even here, and he’s still making me go crazy.
“Ugh. I don’t know,” I say, looking back up at him. “I think I’m going crazy.”
“You’re not crazy.” He sits down on the floor in front of me. Not even caring that he’s sitting on Zayn’s clothes. “I told you I would pack it all up for you.”
“I know. I was throwing away stuff under the sink and I found…” I trail off and look behind him and into the bathroom where the box of condoms lies. These condoms mean Zayn used them with Ezra’s wife. Nausea swirls in my stomach thinking about it all over again. “I found a box of condoms.”
He turns his head, following my line of sight. “Oh.”
“They’re not mine.”
He bites his bottom lip and nods his head. He knows exactly what I’m getting at with this, so I’m thankful I don’t have to say it.
“And then I got so upset I started throwing his shit on the floor,” I say as we both look around us. I let out a sigh. “Are you looking at me differently now with how crazy I’m going?”
“No. I could never. I would question it more if you weren’t doing anything crazy.”
I give him a subtle smile as I gaze at him for never judging me. Right now, I feel like he left one crazy for another. I rub my ring finger again, and ask, “Do you still have your wedding ring?”
I follow his gaze down to his finger. He doesn’t have an indent like I do. “Yeah. But I haven’t worn it in years.”
That’s the one thing I loved about Zayn; he would always wear his—never shying away from the fact that he was married. So why, when he slept with Rya, wasn’t that a reminder? Instead, he continued to wear his ring and sleep with her. Would he see it when he was between her legs? Wouldn’t he feel it? Did it mean nothing to him but an ordinary piece of metal he wore around his finger?
“Oh, I never noticed,” I say, still rubbing at my finger.
A smirk forms on his face. “Neither did Rya.” He lets out a chuckle that sounds more like something that should be shocking but isn’t.
Rya also wore her ring. She loved jewelry and flaunting her diamond ring around. Did she take it off before fucking my husband? Or did she keep it wrapped around her finger like the cunt she is?
“But look what I found,” I say excitedly. I reach for the pink bracelet and show it to him.
His smile turns wide as he reaches back for his wallet. He opens it and pulls out three white beads with a small string attached to each side. He puts them in his palm and shows me they say the same “BFF” in blue letters. “This is the one you made for me. But it broke, so I kept the three BFF beads. But mine was blue.” He clears his throat. “The rest was dark blue and light blue beads.”
My eyes go wide. “You kept them?”
“Yeah.”
“Rya never got mad?”
He lets out a laugh. “Rya is so into herself she never knew.”
I’ve been questioning if Zayn has always been an asshole, but now I’m wondering if Rya has always been that way too? It seems like the two are made for each other. They’re both deceitful and sleazy.
Ezra clears his throat. “There has been something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about?”
