Page 16 of Friends That Heal Us
“No, Zay!” I cut him off with my voice rising. “You’re not sorry. You’re only sorry you got caught. Were you ever going to tell me? Did you think I would never find out?”
His mouth opens, but I don’t let him speak.
“You really thought I’d be that stupid to not to find out?” My voice cracks, but I hold on strong because that’s what he wants to see. He wants to see me break, and I’m not going to let him.
“You looked me in the eye repeatedly and lied to my face. You made me think I was going crazy. You”—I point to him—“made me go crazy, and now you want to talk?” I scoff.
He flinches at my words. I’m not one to yell, so he’s not expecting this side of me. I know I yelled a lot before I found out. I’m always the one who tries to make everything better, but that part of me is done. He walked all over me once. I’m not letting him do it again.
He runs his hand down his face. “It just happened.”
I let out a bitter laugh—one that comes so naturally these days. “Oh, so you mean to tell me your dick just happened to slip into her vagina. Not once.” I pause. “But multiple times?” I cross my arms over my chest, blocking the anger building up inside me.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“But you did,” I snap. “You didn’t ruin only this marriage; you ruined our friendship. You were my best friend. The friend I knew wouldn’t have treated me like that.”
His shoulders drop, and he attempts to step closer to me but stops himself. “Let me explain.”
My brows crease. “Explain what?”
“How it happened?” His voice cracks.
“There is nothing to explain. I already know what happened.”
“But there is,” he says, wide eyes as if there is a huge surprise why he did this. “I was so drunk. I barely remember anything.”
My head snaps back from that pathetic excuse. “Okay…so then what’s your excuse for all the other times? Things like this don’t just happen. It only happens if you want it to happen.”
His face twists with guilt.
“My point exactly.” My voice is flat.
He shakes his head, swallowing hard. “I know I fucked up. But I’m here now trying to make it better.”
“There is nothing to make better. We’re done.”
He blinks fast at my words. “Vi, please,” he whispers. “Don’t let this get in the way of us.”
My lips curl up in disbelief. “You fucked my best friend. Not only that, but you repeatedly fucked her and repeatedly lied to me about it. This isn’t some casual thing that is in the way of us.” My brows knit together. “And you’re a dumbass for thinking that I would stay with you after this. Jesus Christ, give me some credit for the self-respect I have for myself.”
My eyes flicker away from his sight because all of this is too much. It makes me angry and sad all over again. I’m trying so hard to keep it together so he doesn’t see me break down because I know if he does, he’ll try to weasel his way back in. All I want him to do is leave.
“You should have been a bigger man and walked away from me instead of cheating on me,” I say, turning away and walking out of the kitchen.
“Wait,” he says desperately. “Please wait.”
I stop at the edge of the stairs, the same spot we would always end up arguing by. I roll my eyes and flicker my gaze to him.
“I know this sounds like bullshit, but I didn’t plan for any of this to happen. I just…” He stumbles over his words. “I didn’t feel like we were connecting anymore.”
My mouth parts. “So you thought cheating on me would connect us more?”
“No,” he says, clearly frustrated as he shakes his head. “That came out wrong.”
I stare daggers at him, waiting for more of an answer.
“I…” He hangs his head and his eyes flicker away from me. “I miss you. Okay?”
