Page 42 of Friends That Heal Us
Her words hit me hard because all this time it could have beenus. All these years were wasted on people that didn’t deserveus.
“Rya never told you?” she asks.
My forehead creases in confusion. “No. Was she supposed to?”
Her eyes roll as she nods her head. “Yes.”
Of course she was, and of course she didn’t, because Rya only thinks about herself. Even way back then.
“Violet,” I say softly, catching her beautiful brown eyes staring back at me. “I liked you too.”
Her eyes widen in shock. “What! You did?”
I nod again, still trying to process all the years that have gone by. All the years we could have been together. All the what-ifs that I buried deep inside. The thought of it all aches heavy because now I can’t stop wondering what it would’ve been like if we had told each other back then. If we had been together all along.
“But…” She pauses and looks at me with her brows knit together. “I caught you sleeping with Rya.”
My head jerks back, shocked at hearing this. “When?”
“That weekend after graduation at Jordan’s lake house.”
My mind flutters back to that night.
All weekend I’ve been trying to find the courage to tell Violet how I feel. It almost feels like this is my last chance since our senior year is over. I know it’s not my last chance, but in a way it feels like it. My feelings for her have always been there, and growing more over the years. I had thought maybe I was confusing our friendship for romantic feelings, but our senior year enforced it even more when we started spending more time together.
I’ve always known.
Even when I was little and I met her down at the river. It’s always been her. When I tried to date other people, my mind would drift to Violet. I always compared the other girls to her. It wasn’t fair to them, so I always ended up breaking it off. I felt bad that a lot of guys never dared to date Violet and Rya because of Zayn and me. We were so close people either thought we were together or that we would get in the way of them. In a way, I liked it because I knew if she dated anyone I would get jealous.
I never dared tell Zayn how I felt towards her because I thought he would just laugh at it. So I spun in my own thoughts year after year until now…well, if I tell her. All weekend it seems like she’s been avoiding me, or every time I find her she’s talking and having a good time and I don’t want to take her away from it.
Jordan’s parents rarely care about what he does, so he invited the whole senior class to his family’s lake house in Idaho the weekend after graduation. Although more people showed up who aren’t in our class. There are a lot of faces I don’t recognize, unless I never noticed them before.
We told the girls not to go to bed alone and at least to tell us so we can all go to bed together. Just in case, since everyone is drinking. But last night all four of us slept in the same room, soI couldn’t tell her. So tonight is my last night to tell her before we go home. Is it better to wait until we’re home?
Once again, I’m searching the house for her. It’s the end of the night, and some people have gone to bed, making the house die down a little. We’ve been drinking all weekend, eaten little to nothing, and haven’t slept more than a couple of hours. Tomorrow we leave, and I know I’m going to have to drive us home, since I’m the most responsible out of Zayn and me.
I round the corner into the kitchen, and I find Vi taking a shot with some girl. Relief leaves my body knowing she’s not with some dude.
“Ez!”
My eyes perk up when she calls my name and waves me over.
“Come take shots with us.”
I probably shouldn’t, but I’m not saying no to her. “What are we shooting?” I ask as I come up to the counter in front of her. I eye all the empty bottles around us. Trash is scattered everywhere, and people left food out that is half eaten. The sink is overflowing with dishes. This is pretty disgusting. I feel bad for whoever has to clean this.
“Vodka,” she replies, raising a shot glass.
My face winces because it’s not my choice of liquor. “Vodka?”
“It’s the only liquor left.”
I nod my head, agreeing to the vodka. I’m not sure how all of us underage teenagers got so much liquor for the weekend. We must all have a friend of a friend; I know that’s how we got ours.
I grab the shot glass from Vi. All three of us raise our shot glasses and clink them together. I shoot it down, holding my breath so I don’t taste it as much. My face winces along with the girls.
I grab a Corona next to me and take a sip, trying to wash down the vodka. After that hits my throat, I look at it hoping it was one of theirs.
