Page 28 of Friends That Heal Us
“Take it day by day. Soon enough, you’ll realize how much time has passed, how much better you feel, and you’ll look back and think to yourself, ‘wow I can’t believe I got through it.’ It will literally feel like a lifetime ago. Even if only a year has passed,” she says.
I smile up at her. “Thanks. You always make me feel better.”
She smiles back at me and tilts her head with such empathy. “I’m glad. No one deserves this kind of bullshit. And I’m always here for you.”
“What did you do that helped you move past everything your ex did?”
She groans while dropping her head back. “Ugh,” she says, lifting her head back up and giggling. “I did a lot.”
I giggle alongside her. “What do you mean?”
“Well, for the life of me, I couldn’t sleep. When I thought he was cheating, I couldn’t sleep that well. When I found out he actually was, I couldn’t sleep at all. Even though I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders, my brain would not shut down.”
“Really?”
She nods her head. “One day I took a day for myself. I went shopping and bought all new sheets, pillowcases, a comforter, towels, pajamas, all the skin care, and self-care shit that you can think of. I went home, washed all the new stuff I bought and threw away the old stuff. I took a long shower. I washed my hair, exfoliated, and shaved. Then, when I was done, I did my skincare like I’ve never done before. I put masks on and put multiple products on my face after. I lathered myself in body oil. And I couldn’t believe it, but I finally had a good night of sleep. When I woke up, I felt like a new woman.”
I never thought of giving myself a self-care day like that. I know people do it, and it makes them feel better, but I never think to do it. I always end up putting myself to bed to rot away in my feelings.
“So I thought I had cured my insomnia, but nope the next night I was wide awake.”
“What did you do then?”
She rolls her eyes. “I did that whole routine every night.”
My eyes go wide. “Every night?”
She nods her head. “Yup. Every night I washed my sheets, pillowcase, comforter, and pajamas. I took a shower and did that whole routine and then would do my whole skin care routine.”
“Wow, that’s a lot.”
“I know. But something about everything being fresh and clean put me to sleep. I don’t know what it was. Almost like I was washing away my ex or something. Then, each day, I would get rid of something we both shared. And that seemed to help. Eventually, I bought all new stuff like furniture and home decor.” She shakes her head and shrugs her shoulders. “It was like I had to throw away every part of him and us to help my body heal from it all.”
I got rid of my bedding and bought new ones but that’s all. Maybe that’s something I have to do so Zayn isn’t still lingering around in the place that I live. Shit, maybe I should move since we shared the house. But all that just seems too much right now.
“Did you stay in the same house you two had together?” I ask.
She nods. “Yeah. I wasn’t in a position to leave with opening my business and everything. Plus, after everything I did with his shit, he wasn’t willing to sell the house so I could at least move out. I was trying to get an apartment, but he wouldn’t pay the mortgage, and I couldn’t pay both rent and mortgage.”
My brows raise. “What did you do with all his stuff?”
She howls with laughter, slapping her hand on her leg. “Oh, a lot. It was so toxic, but I would do it again,” she says with a bitter laugh. “I withdrew all our money because I knew he would have done the same to me. I left him a little. I wasn’t that harsh but still took the majority.” She eyes me. “Do you have shared accounts?”
I shake my head. “He never wanted to.”
“Good,” she says sternly. “Too many people get fucked over when they do that or when one manages the accounts and finances.” She shakes her head in disappointment. “So I did that. Bleached all his clothes.”
My mouth falls open. “You didn’t?”
“Yup,” she says proudly. “He came home to pack a bag and had no clothes but the ones he was wearing.”
We both giggle.
“What did he say or do?”
“Oh, he was pissed. He couldn’t believe I had done such a thing”—she rolls her eyes—“when he was the one that cheated on me.” She scowls.
“Wow. Some men,” I say, shaking my head.
