Page 15 of Friends That Heal Us
Ezra nods his head and lets out a sigh like it finally clicked.
“His text messages of him breaking it off with her were around that time. And that night when she got drunk, she was so pissed off.” Flashes of her red, angry face surface in my mind. “She looked at me as if I had ruined her life. I remember questioning myself what the hell that look was all about. But I brushed it off because she was drunk. I thought maybe she didn’t realize it was me.”
I take a breath and then continue on, letting everything out. Everything that I questioned now all makes sense.
“And remember when you two came over to talk to Zay about it and she acted like she was getting cheated on? And she slipped and said something like ‘are you cheating on me?’” Everything makes my whole body feel heated. The way Rya was looking at me with such hate is the same way I feel now.
Ezra’s shoulders slump as he rests his back further onto the couch. “I can’t believe how fooled we were.”
Being fooled hurts in a way I didn’t think possible. Not only the betrayal but the fact that it came from the people we trusted most. They lied to our faces while sneaking behind our backs. I keep replaying every day repeatedly in my head, and it all adds up. It all makes sense now. And I was so blinded by their friendship. We both were.
“Rya definitely blamed all this on Zayn.”
“Of course she did. She’s never responsible for anything,” I say, shaking my head. “You haven’t talked to her since she told you everything?”
“Nope. What’s the point? My feelings have never mattered to her, and I’m not going to sit there and watch her pretend like they do now.”
“Did you kick her out?”
“No.” He laughs. “To my surprise, she left all on her own.” He sighs. “But she comes over almost everyday begging me back,and the landlord won’t let me change the locks.” He yawns as if all this is causing exhaustion. “I don’t want to be there anymore. I’d rather leave and lose my deposit so she doesn’t know where I am. I’m too exhausted at this point to deal with her. It was exhausting before, and now I’m just…done.”
I guess it’s true what they say: you get to a point where you’re justdone.Everything slowly creeps in, to the point of exhaustion. All the repeated conversation, arguments, tears, and lies. It’s all too much; one day you wake up and it’s like something inside you has switched off. The hurt is still there, but the fight is gone.
CHAPTER EIGHT
VIOLET
The raysof sunshine against my face force me to wake up. I yawn and stretch the sleep off, my mind drifting back to the conversation last night. I really wanted to ask him to stay with me. I wasn’t sure if that was the right thing to do. What is the right thing to do? All I know is every time I see him, he gives me a sense of peace.
But why do I second-guess everything? If we have each other to heal from this, why not use it to our advantage? It’s not like this is a new friendship. He’s my best friend. He’s always going to be.
I roll out of bed and do my usual morning routine. I run my shower to let the steam drift around the bathroom as I head downstairs and check on my orders.
The shower hums as I go back into the bathroom, steam swirling around me. I slip off my pajamas as I catch my reflection in a small part of the mirror that hasn’t fogged up yet. I pause for a second, staring at the stillness in my eyes. For a while, they seemed as if they couldn’t hold still, like they were darting endlessly, trying to keep up with the endless thoughtsrunning in my mind. I could barely look at myself, let alone stare at my reflection. Some days it felt as if I were a stranger to myself. It felt like that when I was questioning everything going on in my life.
The dark circles that used to cling to my skin because of all the sleepless nights have faded. Is it because I finally know the truth? At least I’m not afraid to look at myself anymore. That has to mean something.
Right?
“Hey.”
I jump at the sound of the voice. Not any voice. His voice.
My breath catches the second our eyes meet. My heart pounds with a mix of rage and heartbreak. His presence brings back all the betrayal all over again. All I see is a stranger standing in my kitchen, staring at me, not someone I know and trust.
Fuck, I sigh to myself. I need to change my locks and the garage code. Ezra forgot to change the garage code, but it isn’t his responsibility.
“What the fuck do you want?” I ask sternly because I’m done letting him walk all over me. I’m done letting him treat me like shit. He is not the man I once knew and loved.
His eyes widen, and he freezes mid-step, surprised by my sharp voice. “Can we talk?”
“About what, Zay?” I ask, turning the music off.
“About us,” he mumbles and steps closer to me.
I take a step back. “There is no us. You made sure of that.”
“I’m sorry. I?—”
