Page 14 of Friends That Heal Us
“You seem to be fine with all this. Like you’re not mad or sad.”
I let out a sigh. “Things haven’t been good with us for a while now.”
“Really?” Her head snaps back in surprise.
“Yeah.” I nod slowly.
“I’m surprised she never talked to me about anything?”
I let out a scoff, almost a laugh. “Honestly, I don’t even think she realized how unhappy I was, and if she did, she didn’t care.”
The warmth of her touch leaves me as she shifts her body facing me more. “What happened between you two?”
“We weren’t right as a couple. We grew apart.” I pause for a moment. “She never wanted to grow up. All she cared about was shopping and drinking. I wanted to settle down, and I think she resented me for it.”
“What!” she exclaims in shock.
“I don’t think she saw it, even though I told her. She only thought about herself, and she dismissed all of my concerns. She wouldn’t even sit down and have a conversation about us without storming out. She always thought talking about our issues was an attack on her.” I run my hand through my hair, tugging at the ends to relieve some of the tension running through my body from remembering everything.
“What! I’m shocked. When did all this start?”
“It’s been years. All it was doing was pushing me away. Someone can only put up with that kind of dismissal for so long until they finally have no choice but to check out emotionally. The worst loneliness you can feel is when you’re not alone at all.”
Tears stream down my face not because I’m sad but because I’m finally able to share my feelings of what’s been happening. For so long I held on to something I knew wasn’t going anywhere just so I wouldn’t lose my friends. Because I knew if I left Rya, she was going to make a big deal out of it and I was afraid shewas going to turn my friends against me. A lot of good that did me. I lost them anyway. Except Vi.
CHAPTER SEVEN
VIOLET
I reachfor Ezra and wrap my arms around him. “I’m so sorry,” I say, reassuring him it’s okay to cry.
I’ve never seen him cry before. Zayn used to say men don’t cry and that it’s a weakness. I know better. Mendocry; theyneedto. They feel just as deeply as the rest of us, even if the world teaches them to hide it. And in this moment, Ezra letting himself break isn’t a weakness. It’s him being human.
“I felt the same way with Zayn. I felt more alone when I was around him.”
Ez shifts his body out of my arms. “Did you ever have a clue it was Rya?”
I shake my head with a bitter laugh. “No. I was so blinded by our friendship I didn’t see it. But now that I know, things are adding up.”
“Like what?”
I take a breath. “I have a customer who lives close to your place, and one day when I was dropping off her order I saw him in that area heading towards your house. But he said he was driving to a customer’s house to fix their car.”
Ezra’s jaw clenches, and he runs his hand down his face. “That’s nice to know they might have done it in our home. What else?”
“Remember when I told you both about the perfume I smelled on Zayn’s shirt?”
His eyes shoot up as he nods, remembering what I told him and Rya.
“Well, it was hers. We bought the same one when we were in Vegas,” I say flatly. “He played it off as if my perfume gets on his clothes when I spray it on me.” I shake my head in disappointment that I missed the signs. “He’s too big of a dumbass to know what perfume of mine was on his clothes. The only way he would have known is if he had asked her.” The more I talk about it, the more keeps surfacing. “And the way Rya would act when I told her I thought he was cheating on me.”
“How did she act?” he questions with concern in his voice.
“She would always try to convince me he wasn’t cheating, and that he would never cheat on me.” I put air quotes around ‘never.’ “She would almost get defensive. And yeah, she’s my best friend. Or was. But wouldn’t a true best friend be like ‘let’s go find out if this fucker really is?’” I shake my head. “You know atruebest friend would be on my side regardless if he was cheating or not.” I let out a heavy breath.
Talking about this makes me angry all over again. “And what’s up with her liking Rufus Du Sol? She hated that kind of music. For the life of me, I couldn’t ever get her to listen to them, and now all of a sudden she listens to them. She only listens to them now because Zayn listens to them. Or she was trying to like what he likes,” I say sarcastically.
“Oh, and remember that night in the city when we couldn’t find her?” I ask, catching Ez’s gaze. He nods without a smile as if that night is clicking for him too. “How the hell did Zay know where she was?”
