Page 55 of How (Not) to Conjure a Boyfriend
“The campsite was nice.” Zachary glances at me, but he’s quick to look away. His eyes set on the window where all you can see is rain and the distorted glow of my porch light.
“Yeah,” I whisper.
“Huh?”
“Yeah,” I say like a normal person.
My yard is lit up by a flash of white, followed almost immediately by a boom of thunder. I can feel its rumble through the truck.Calm it down, Thor. I’ll say something.
“Oh, okay. Yeah.” He nods and swallows, smacking his lips quietly.
With Kaitlynn in the back seat, it was easier. I didn’t have the opportunity to say much with her craning over the centerconsole, talking about theKeeping Up with the Kardashiansreruns from this week, how her miniature Schnoodle won’t stop peeing when he gets excited, and something her science club friends—which she’s only part of because she heard they might go to the Alcatraz Museum for a trip this year—said about Henry Cavill not being gorgeous. Zach and I both gave her shocked looks on that last bit. It was enough to distract from the thing running through my head the entire time that felt like it would make me explode inside.
Now, though, it’s quiet. Unbearably, suffocatingly quiet. And why does his truck’s center console have to be small? He’s so close, too close. In one night I’ve managed to cheat on my make-believe boyfriend with his brother twice. Kissing and holding hands are cheating, right? Of course they are. Obviously. Shit, I want to kiss him again…but I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t want to. I like Hayden. I know Hayden, or well, I know him better. Okay, maybe I don’t anymore, but that’s not the point. His family thinks I do. But does this boy sitting across from me still think that? One moment he acts like he believes me, and the next he’s eyeing me with suspicion or leaning in for a kiss. This is so frustrating and confusing.
I close my eyes and focus on the notes playing on the truck’s rooftop from the raindrops. It usually calms me, so I listen and grasp my necklace. There’s a moment it works, so I put my hand on the door handle, but I can’t get myself to pull it. The rain. The cold. Wet. I don’t want all of that again. The taut cord lacing from my chest to Zach’s. The need to look at him. It’s all in my head.That’s right, Kenzie. It’s just my head.
“Uh…” I mumble, trying to break the silence and get myself to move. I shift toward the door and Zach finally speaks up.
“You can sit awhile.” His voice is small, almost a coo, and I hate him for it. Be abrupt. Tell me to get out. Please! “Maybe the rain will pass soon.”
The rain never passes soon when you want it to. If I stay put until it’s over, I could be here until four in the morning, and I won’t be able to keep my sanity if I have to sit in here with him for hours. Also, I have to open at work tomorrow. That means I have to be up by seven o’clock. I’ve really got to get going.
Then again, it could stop before the minute is over. Who knows? Maybe Odin or Freyja, but not me. Actually, Freyja, please don’t get involved here. I need Odin’s wisdom right now.
“Maybe,” I agree, and make a popping noise with my mouth. Why? I don’t know. It just felt like it made more sense than the weirdness right now. “Actually, I think I’m just going to go.”
“Mack!” he nearly shouts, his entire body twisting to face me.
The truck shakes and I scream. My hand flings from the door handle and slaps the seat.
“Going to kill me doing that!” I say.
“Sorry, sorry. Uh…I…” Zachary apologizes, but starts laughing while I’m getting myself back together. “You are so jittery.”
“And?” I tilt my head.
“Nothing. You just are. You hiding something?” he asks.
Gods, if you only knew. It helps though. My chest isn’t as tight now. I still feel like I’m wearing a corset, but it’s better. I glance at him, unable to do much more than that. He’s looking my way confidently. How?
“No!” I bite.
“Sure.” He drags it out suggestively, and I let my mouth drop into a big O and finally face him. Zach’s hands go up. “My bad!”
A laugh jumps from my lips and I can’t stop a smile from spreading. His eyes look like a puppy dog’s, but there he goes giggling again. You are making this so difficult! Be stupid. Make me want to leave!
“Obvi,” I grumble, but I know what I need to do. I put my hand on the door handle. “I have to work in the morning. I need to go.”
“Oh, okay.” Zachary nods, his head low. “Don’t get too wet.”
“Sure.” I shrug and go to shove the door open. Gods, I don’t want to get wet and cold again!
“Thanks for showing me that scary house,” Zachary spouts before I can get out.
“Yeah,” I say, not letting go of the handle. “Sure. It’s cool.”
“Yeah. Cool.” Zachary grins and grunt-laughs, but he doesn’t break eye contact.
